Page 14 of Loyal
This.
This is what I want with Sami.
Now I have to figure out how to convince her to give it to me.
Aknock on the sliding glass door makes my hands go clammy. I look up and see Loyal standing on the other side. Lifting my hand, I wave him in. As he comes inside, I wipe my hands on my pants.
“Hey,” I say softly.
“Hey beautiful.” He comes over and gives me a quick kiss.
It’s almost as if he’s trying to reassure me that we are fine even though he said the worst sentence known to man.
We need to talk.
No matter the situation, no one ever wants to hear those four words said together, let alone say them. I know I am likely overreacting. He sent those flowers and has been texting me all week, but the thoughts have been weighing heavily on me.
I can’t help but worry that he’s about to end this. I know the thought has crossed my mind, but I’ve never seriously considered ending things with him. I wouldn’t blame him if he wanted it to end. I mean, I really have been fucking up left and right when it comes to him.
If I’m really being honest with myself, I don’t want it to end. I want to keep him for far longer than I could have ever anticipated. That forbidden “F” word is on my mind.
Forever.
“Hi.” I offer him a brittle smile.
“You okay?” he asks, frowning as he rubs my cheek.
“Not really.”
“What’s wrong? Did Farrah or Billy do something?”
His concern makes my heart melt.
Damn him for being so sweet and caring before he walks away.
“You said we needed to talk, and all week I have been worried about it.”
Understanding crosses his face.
“Come on, let’s go sit.”
Before I can protest and tell him to just spit it out, he takes me by the hand and ushers me to the living room. He sits down next to me and places his hand on my thigh.
“I know what you want to talk about, but I think it’s best I let you go first before I put my foot in my mouth,” I tell him.
He takes a deep breath and pushes his hair off of his face. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out. I need you to let me talk until I get it all out, okay?”
“Okay,” I say quietly, heart racing.
“I like you, Sami, probably more than I should. I know that when we started hanging out that I agreed that it was just hooking up. That it was only casual and that you didn’t have time for anything serious, but things have changed. I care about you, I have for a while now. You are the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before I pass out. I have to stop myself from texting you a thousand times a day. Not because I’m trying to keep tabs on you or anything but because I genuinely want to talk to you. This is so far from casualfor me that it’s not even funny, and if you aren’t willing to see where things could go between us, then it’s time that we go our separate ways.”
He takes a deep breath once he’s done rambling.
Out of all the things he could have said, I wasn’t expecting this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s mentioned wanting more in passing before, but I didn’t think after the other day he would still feel this way.
“You want to have a relationship?” I ask, stunned.
He shoots me a cocky smirk. “Babe, we’ve been in a relationship. You just haven’t noticed. I just want to make it official and have us on the same page.”
