Page 15 of Loyal
“But…I’m too old for you,” I say half-heartedly.
Loyal tips his head back and laughs. “I would like to remind you that I pursued you. You are my type. I told you I like my girls a little bit older.”
I slap his chest lightly even though I feel my cheeks reddening. “I’m serious.”
“So am I. Age is just a number. I have gone through so much in my life that what is twenty-two years really? There are thirty-year-olds less mature than me. I don’t give two fucks that you are older or that you have a kid or a crazy fucking ex. I just want you.”
His words make my heart sing.
“This doesn’t feel real,” I mutter to myself.
“It’s real. If you want it to be. Come on, Sami, give us a shot. Let’s see where this could go,” he urges.
“I want to, but I have my concerns,” I admit softly.
“Then talk it out with me.”
He’s always about solving problems. It’s refreshing. I don’t have to figure it out on my own.
“My daughter. You’re closer in age to her than me. What will she think? What will people think?” I ask as my mind races.
“I know I’m not a parent, but how much does it matter what she thinks? We are both consenting adults. It’s not like I’m in high school and we are breaking laws or anything. Will it be weird for her? Maybe, but we can work through that with her. Show her that this is real. Teach her to ignore the chatter from others. I think it’s something I will need to teach you myself if you are worried about the judgment of others. I’m going to tell you right now, other people don’t matter. They can stare and talk all they want, but at the end of the day, they are miserable people looking to bring you down with them. You can make the choice to let them or you can grab onto your own happiness and tell them to fuck themselves. Now if you decide you can’t get over it or that your daughter won’t be able to handle it, then we should end this now. I can’t keep being your dirty little secret. Not when I want to shout to the world that you are mine.”
I want that too. I want to be whatever being his entails. I want him.
Does the age difference bother me? No. Half the time I forget that he’s younger than me. Will my daughter hate me? She already does. It doesn’t matter who he is. She won’t accept anyone in my life who is not her father.
So what is really holding me back?
The idea of him walking away and never getting to see him again has my chest hurting. Never getting to feel his hands on me or his lips on mine, that’s something I can’t stand.
“Do you want to end this?” he asks bluntly.
“No,” I tell him with no hesitation.
Relief washes through his eyes.
“Thank fuck,” he sighs.
“But my concern is still there. I know I’m an adult and allowed to date if I want to, but I need to set a good example for Farrah. I want her to see what a happy and healthy relationship looks like. Hell, I want her to have it when she’s older, but Idon’t know if she will see it that way. She still wants me with her father.”
He shrugs. “It could be a little awkward at first when she finds out, but I would like to think that over time she will get used to it. I’d like to think that once she realizes how happy we both are that she won’t be able to do anything but support us. In the meantime, though, we can be careful about how we present our relationship and what we do. Just for a while. Because I won’t lie, Sami, I want her to see how crazy I am about you.”
“I want that too,” I whisper.
“So are we doing this?” he asks, squeezing my thigh.
“Yeah, I think we are.”
A beautiful smile crosses his face. “Fuck yeah.”
I can’t help but laugh and shake my head. “That mouth…”
He winks. “You like my mouth.”
I smile and get the topic back on track. “Now what?”
“Now, you let me take you on a date. A real one, and babe, you better be prepared. I’m about to take you on the best first date you’ve ever been on.”
