Page 78 of Loyal
“It’s one of the reasons you love me,” I joke, making us both laugh.
It doesn’t escape my notice that she doesn’t deny it, though.
I hate how I never really got to hear her say the words, though. I might never get to hear them. My chest hurts as the emotions roll through me. Fuck, I’m going to miss her something fierce.
“Matty, this hurts. Like I can feel my heart breaking in real time. I swear it didn’t hurt this bad when I walked away from Billy,” she sobs, the agony clear in her voice.
I want to tell her that she was already checked out of that relationship and had already mentally made peace with it, whereas with us separating, it’s not willingly or what either of us wants.
“It’s killing me too,Mami,” I rasp.
“I wish I could be selfish and keep you. You’re the first thing in my adult life that’s been all mine and made me happy, and now I’m forced to give you up? It’s not fair, and I hate it. I fucking hate it,” she sobs. “H-how am I going to do this when you’ve been my rock? If you aren’t with me…” she says, breaking both of our hearts even more.
Jesus, I don’t know how much more I can take.
“Like I said, Sami, I’m right here. I’ll be here for whatever you need. I’ll always answer and be your biggest fan. Whatever you need,” I repeat.
“Stop, just stop!” someone sobs, catching us off guard.
Both Sami and I look over and see Farrah, standing at the mouth of the hallway, face red and splotchy as she cries.
“Baby, you shouldn’t be here,” Sami tells her.
“I don’t want you to be unhappy, Mom. I promise I don’t. I’ve thought about what you’ve said. I’ve thought about how you and Dad used to just exist with each other but didn’t smile. Looking back, I honestly don’t blame you for walking away.”
“Then why?” I rasp.
Farrah’s eyes dart to me. “Because my hands are tied. Dad keeps pressuring me, and I feel obligated to listen. I mean he’s my dad. And you know what? At first I was on board. It was weird when you two got together, but you make her happy.” Her eyes move back to her mom. “I don’t want you to be miserable again.”
“Baby.” Sami stands and holds out her arms.
Farrah runs into them and hugs her mother back. I watch them stand together, fully planning to let them have their moment, only Sami catches me off guard.
“Get in here,” she says quietly.
Slowly, I stand and wrap my arms around both of them, holding them tight.
“What are we going to do?” Farrah asks. “He is expecting me to keep torpedoing your relationship.”
“We will figure it out,” Sami reassures her.
Only when we’ve all calmed down and stepped apart from each other does one of us speak.
“Please tell me you weren’t joking when you said you wanted us to stay together?” I ask Farrah.
Farrah laughs once. “I didn’t say those words exactly.”
“Tomato. Tomahto.” I shrug.
She looks down at her jeans. “I don’t want you to split because of me. Or because of Dad.”
“Are you sure, baby?” Sami asks, not hiding the hope in her voice.
“Yes.” She looks over at me. “I still have concerns. I mean, I’ve heard a lot of shit about the people you run with.”
“Your fears are valid. I know a lot of people talk, but they aren’t all right,” I tell her.
“They are really nice. I think you would like them if you met them,” Sami adds.
