Page 45 of Hittin' the Right Note
“I think we should break up,” Mikey says.
This is exactly what Luke’s been dreading but couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge. The breath whooshes out of his body, and it takes a second for his brain to really catch up to what’s happening, to make sense of what Mikey has just said.
A dozen different responses flit through his mind, and he tries to figure out which one will change what’s happening right now.
He finally settles on the most basic.
“I don’t want to break up.”
The words are simple, and he hates the way his voice hitches on them, hates the way the tears are trying to well up and choke him.
Come on, Luke, stand up for yourself.
“Why are you doing this?” he asks instead.
He’s desperate for an explanation but, at the same time, he’s not sure he wants one. He really just wants to get out of here as quickly as possible, to forget it all ever happened.
Mikey, however, doesn’t give him much of anything. He just sits there, not even bothering to look Luke in the eye, picking at his food.
Finally, he can’t take it any more. He just wants out of there as quickly as possible, and so he gets up and just glares down at Mikey.
“Fuck you, Mikey Smiles,” he says. “Just…fuck you.”
He leaves the restaurant, and he doesn’t look back.
As soon ashe’s outside, Luke takes a deep breath. The air is heavy tonight, and he’s pretty sure it’s going to storm.
Good,he thinks.I’m in the mood for rain.
Now he’s not in front of Mikey anymore he can take a few seconds to gather his thoughts and sort through his feelings. He fights down the temptation to go back inside and beg for Mikey to take him back. Instead, he has to decide what to do and where he’s going to go.
Aunt Patty’s,he thinks at once.I’ll go to Aunt Patty’s.
His aunt might not know about his sexuality–though she probably suspects–but her house is the one place he’s always been safe. Besides, he’s not ready to go home just yet. He doesn’t like showing too much emotion in front of his parents or his brothers. Aunt Patty, though? She’ll make him feel better, even if she doesn’t know the real reason he’s so upset.
Luke makes his way to the nearest payphone and, plopping in a couple of quarters, he calls her.
“Hello?” She answers the phone.
“Hi,” Luke manages to get out. “I’m at Coleman’s down in Wheeling. Can you come get me?”
“Of course,” she says. “Just stay there, and I’ll be there in a jiffy.”
“Thank you,” he says. “And Aunt Patty? I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetie. See you soon!”
She hangs up, and Luke tries to distract himself by wandering around the shops at the Centre Market. He can’t settle his thoughts on anything, though, and he’s glad when Aunt Patty gets there.
“Oh, baby, come here,” she says, getting out of her car and holding her arms out. Luke doesn’t think. He just throws himself into that comforting embrace, breathing in the scent of her lilac perfume, and he finally lets the tears come.
She doesn’t ask him what’s wrong, and she doesn’t press him for more details. That’s not Aunt Patty’s way. Her job, as she sees it, is to be there for him through thick and thin, and that’s what she’s going to do.
After the life-saving hug and a good cry, Aunt Patty drives them to her place.
She lives in a simple old farmhouse on a ridge overlooking the Ohio River, the house clinging to the bank for dear life. It’s a bit rough around the edges–a few tiles are missing from the roof, and the paint is starting to peel here and there–but it still has an aura of comfort around it. A garden is situated off to the side, and the barn (as rough as the house) echoes with the clucking of chickens, the quacking of ducks, the honking of geese, and even the odd turkey gobble.
It isn’t much, but it’s been like a second home to him growing up. Any time he felt like he wasn’t welcome at home–and, with his father and his brothers, that happened more than he would’ve liked–he knew he could find a special place with his aunt.
