Page 44 of Hittin' the Right Note
And so, just when it seemed like the two of them were going to kiss he turned away, but not before he saw a look of hurt and confusion pass across Mikey’s face.
Fuck,Luke thought, his body a nest of built-up tension.
As soon as he was back inside the cabin, however, strain in his shoulders and everywhere else started to relax a little. When it came down to it, it was the one place in the world where he could truly be himself.
Except, of course, he couldn’t, because Mikey was here, and he was a variable he didn’t know what to do with.
I shouldn’t have agreed to have him here,he thought.This was a mistake.
Still, now Mikey was here the least he could do was be a good host, and so he made sure to take Mikey’s things to the guest room. He didn’t say much, though. He didn’t want to engage in any more flirting until he’d worked through his feelings.
Thank you, therapy,he thought wryly.
Through all of this, Mikey didn’t say much either. Whatever little magic they’d managed to capture with both the music and Duke had completely evaporated, replaced with a distinct sense of unease.
Luke gave Mikey a little tour of the cabin, making sure he knew where everything was, and when it was all done, he turned around and looked him up and down.
“Well,” he said. “I think that’s about it. Is there anything else you need to know?”
Mikey looked like he had about a hundred different questions, but he just shook his head.
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Good. I think I need to work on those lyrics a bit. They didn’t quite get to where I wanted them to be. I’m gonna go hole up for a while and try to get them to cooperate. I don’t know how long it’s going to take, so go ahead and help yourself to whatever’s in the cupboard. There’s plenty of stuff for cooking, too, so don’t be a stranger. Mi casa is su casa.”
And, before he could show just how mortified he was by his use ofthatparticular phrase, he fled to his room, shut the door, and tried to forget the entire day had ever happened.
As he put the back of his head against the door and tried to get his heart to stop racing so fast, he couldn’t help thinking,what am I going to do now?
CHAPTER 16
LUKE—2005
What’s up with Mikey?
Luke’s been asking the question repeatedly over the past few weeks. Nothing’s been quite the same since the night of the concert: Mikey’s been distant, and they’ve gone from spending almost every minute together to hardly having any alone time. Any time Luke tries to ask him what’s wrong–let alone actually spend more than a few minutes together–Mikey either changes the subject or just ignores it altogether.
Luke starts to suspect there’s more going on here than he’d like to admit. In his heart of hearts he thinks he knows what’s going on, but he’s not ready to admit it to himself. He keeps holding onto the hope things will get better.
And so, when Mikey asks him to go for lunch after their morning session at NACA, he jumps at the chance. Maybe now he’ll be able to figure out what’s going on.
At first he thinks everything is going to be okay. They make small talk as they drive up Route 2 toward Wheeling, and it’s almost normal. As soon as they get to Coleman’s, though, there’s a strange feeling in the air. It’s nothing he can put his finger on, exactly, but Mikey keeps on shuffling from foot to foot, neverquite meeting his eyes. Luke wants to say something, but when it comes down to it he’s afraid of what might happen if he does.
You’re going to have to ask him sooner or later,he thinks.
They get their fish sandwiches and fries–with a side order of macaroni they’ll share–and make their way to one of the nearby tables. Once they’re seated, another silence descends, and even more impenetrable than the one before it. Several times Luke opens his mouth, trying to muster the courage to say something, but each time he chickens out.
Finally, just when they’re finishing up their meals, it’s Mikey’s turn to sigh.
“Luke,” he says, “we need to talk.”
Luke might not have been in any relationships before, but he’s watched enough romantic comedies and romance to know nothing good ever follows the phrase “we need to talk.” His stomach is roiling, and he almost tells Mikey they don’t need to talk; they can just pretend everything is okay.
What he says, though, is:
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
He hates the look on Mikey’s face, the look of pain flickering in his eyes, the way his lips tighten. Luke knows what’s coming even before the words come out of Mikey’s mouth.
