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power, and Janey is just trying to find her footing at work. If you want her, if you want more, then
we’ll figure it out. But if you need a fuck, that can be arranged discretely, with someone who will
give you exactly what you need, with no expectations.”
“A professional,” he says flatly, glancing back at me. I give him a nod, and he turns back to the
window. “I don’t like that idea. At all. I don’t like the idea of touching a stranger. Of letting her touch
me. That sounds…awful.”
His words strike me, little daggers shredding the thin veneer I have around my core.His judgment
of my entire lifestyle is implied. He may not mean to insult me. He’s talking about himself. But that’s
what I do, don’t I? I let a stranger touch me. I touch her. I bury myself in her and let myself get lost for
a few hours. There’s no emotion other than mild affection. And when it’s done, I’m back to being
cold.
For someone like Jonas, who guards his inner circle of trusted people like a dragon protects its
treasure, fucking a stranger may well be a horrifying thought.
“Did I upset you?” he asks, brow furrowed.
I smooth out my unconscious frown and do what I always do. Push down my discomfort and say
what he needs me to say. “No, I’m not upset.” His eyes dart back and forth, and his face relaxes. “I
don’t have relationship advice for you, brother. Maybe you can talk to Micah about that. Or Colt.
They’re better equipped.”
“Do…do you think I would be a good boyfriend?”
I drop onto my stomach and rest my chin on my hands, mirroring his pose. I’ve done this
thousands of times. Moved to his level and laid with him in whatever state he was in. I’ve been
present. At times in my life, it’s been easy, but other times, it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve
ever had to do.
Today, it’s hard.
He’s growing away from me, and I would never do anything to stop it, but I’m terrified. Terrified
that he won’t find his way through this and terrified that if he does, I’ll be left behind.
“You’d be the best boyfriend. I have no doubts.” And he would be. Jonas is one of the most caring
people I’ve ever met. Any woman would be lucky to be loved by him. But not every woman will take
him as he is, and that’s the part that scares me. The possibility that he’ll end up with someone who
will chip away at who he is.
