Page 61 of Ruby
Alone. Cut off.
We follow Azoeul into the trees.
Ani walks beside me in strained silence. I glance at her and find her already watching me, small neck tilted back so she can see my face. She bares her teeth and tucks her threads behind her ear, both of them some mysterious gestures of her species that reveal nothing about her true emotions.
“They hurt you,” I sing, switching to my language, unable to keep speaking such lifeless tones for something so important.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” comes her reply in Azoeul’s dead language, her body stiff.
She is using the language as a shield, I realize. She is hiding her emotions. My feathers lie sleek, but inside the air churns with my frustration. I want to carry her pain. She won’t let me.
She hears the hum of my frustration and runs her fingers over my healing wounds, the gesture closing some of the emotional distance that lies between us, though our movements are still strained.
I offer her a hand and she wraps her fingers around two of mine.
“I’m happy you came,” she says softly. “Really worried.”
“Should have been there,” I murmur. “To protect you.”
“It’s alright,” she says quietly. “Like you said before. No regrets.”
I squeeze her hand. No regrets? I have nothing but regrets. I will never stop wishing I had reached her sooner.
24
Ani
Reuniting with Szhe’ka fills me with nothing but joy, but I can tell it isn’t the same for him.
There’s something strained in his expression, something tight around his eyes. Even his hums sound heavy. Mournful in a way that makes guilt coil in my stomach. As if this is somehow my fault.
Nothing about what happened was expected. I never thought we’d reunite at all. Part of me had already buried him. Buried myself. Does he resent me for leaving him for dead? What happens now?
The questions churn endlessly, and the only person who can answer them walks beside me in silence. A silence I prompted by shutting him out.
Fuck.
Ahead of us, Azoeul moves steadily through the trees. His presence is a constant reminder that whatever path Szhe’ka and I were on before the hunters interfered, it’s changed. I can’t help wondering where we were going. Where was he taking me?
“Szhe’ka,” I call in his language.
No response.
He trudges forward in his awkward gait, eyes fixed ahead, lost somewhere far from this forest. He’s rarely the distracted one. Usually I’m the scattered mess.
“Szhe’kaaaa,” I sing more playfully, tugging at the fingers I have wrapped around his.
This time it works. His gaze drops to me.
“Where are we going?” I ask in Azoeul’s language.
Speaking in song is beautiful, but exhausting. I’ve mostly been using Azoeul’s toneless language. It’s faster, and far less emotionally revealing. There’s no way to hide your feelings when every resonance betrays you.
Szhe’ka doesn’t seem thrilled about it, but he answers in the same language anyway, though his words are still just as clipped.
“To safety. For you. A place with others like you.”
He crosses his upper arms tightly around himself, feathers drooping slightly.
