Page 62 of Ruby
I’ve grown used to his body language. I can read him in the smallest twitch.
“Like me?” I ask.
Is there a separate place for him? Some strange alien refugee camp divided by species? The thought makes my stomach twist. I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere I can’t freely be around him. It reminds me too much of casting calls. Of being sorted and separated.
He turns away when he answers. “Yes. Your kind will keep you safe.”
And suddenly I understand.
He keeps looking at me and then looking away because of the bruises. Because he saw me naked and battered and touched by something filthy.
Heat floods my face. I feel disgusting. But beneath that is something worse. Guilt. He feels responsible.
If I’m honest, part of me thinks I deserved it. I was stubborn. Suspicious. I fought him at every turn. And yet all he ever tried to do was protect me.
The rapidly healing bruises on my skin are proof that he couldn’t.
I run my free hand up and down his arm. My eyes flick to my own fingers; to the sharp talons where my nails used tobe. To the yellow creeping across my skin—darkening with each passing hour—because of him.
I can’t let him keep blaming himself, but I don’t know how to stop him.
“Is… Ree there?” I ask, trying to shift the subject.
“Yes. She waits.”
Relief loosens something in my chest. I finally get to meet the mysterious woman who may be the reason any of us are alive.
“Will you stay there… with me?” I squeeze his hand tighter. I don’t want to lose him again. Not when he’s barely healed.
“No. I will only drag you down. You will stay with them.”
The certainty in his voice hurts more than the words.
Caring about me doesn’t mean leaving me by myself, and it definitely does not mean telling me what to do. I rub my hands across my face and I sigh. I can’t believe it took being kidnapped, changed, and tortured by aliens to realize that, but I finally have and it hurts that I can’t stick my middle finger in my mother’s face and tell her to suck it.
I want to walk up to every single person who took advantage of me, of my looks, of my desperation, and kick them in their sensitive parts, but I can’t and it pisses me off.
I bring my wandering mind back to the present. Back to the argument I have to win.
“That’s not true,” I insist. “You risked everything to save me. How could you drag me down?”
“I let you get taken,” he argues.
“I went willingly to save you,” I counter. “You don’t get to carry all of it. These things happen.”
“Not anymore.”
The resolve in his eyes is frightening. A promise to himself. He would die for me.
I won’t let that happen.
Up ahead, Azoeul suddenly stops. He goes completely still, blending into the forest. Then he moves again, faster, darting through the trees like a shadow. Szhe’ka shifts into alertness instantly.
“Ani,” he says flatly. “Leave me. Find the human and the orange beast. They protect. You suffered enough.”
I’m done arguing, sudden anger lighting along my veins. “Go where you want,” I snap.
Before he can protest, I stride ahead. My heart pounds so loudly it drowns out the forest. I need space. I need air.
