Page 109 of Ruby
“Also useful.”
“I can negotiate,” I say slowly. “Or at least I used to.”
She glances at me now.
“With who?”
“Men who wanted something from me.”
It comes out flat. Honest. She doesn’t flinch.
“That’s still negotiation,” she says.
I shrug. “It doesn’t feel like a skill.”
“It is.”
I swallow.
“Math,” I add quietly. “I’m good at math. I like it. No one’s cared about that before, though.”
“That’s their loss.”
The words land somewhere deep.
We shift positions, moving closer to the fire pit to stack the fish for smoking.
“Anything else?” she asks.
I hesitate.
I don’t know why the next words come out. Maybe it’s the lake. The open sky. The fact that no one here wants to audition me.
“I learned early that if I wanted something, I had to trade for it,” I say.
Ree stills slightly but doesn’t interrupt.
“My mom managed my… life,” I continue. “She also managed… everything else. What I wore. Who I talked to. What I wanted.”
I adjust a fish on the rack.
“She essentially was my pimp,” I grit out.
The words hang between us.
I expect something. Shock, pity, anger.
Ree’s jaw tightens, but she keeps her voice steady.
“I’m sorry.”
I let out a breath.
“I thought I was being strategic,” I say. “Like I was playing the game before it could play me.”
“And?”
“And it never stopped being a game,” I admit.
