Page 110 of Ruby
The wind ripples the lake surface. The sound is soft, rhythmic.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud,” I tell her.
“How does it feel?” she asks gently.
I consider it.
“Less sharp,” I say. “Like it’s not just mine anymore.”
She nods.
“I’ve noticed that too,” she says. “Saying things makes them smaller. Or at least manageable.”
I glance at her.
“You?”
She huffs a quiet laugh.
“I worked in the ER for ten years. You compartmentalize or you drown. Then we got taken and suddenly I couldn’t compartmentalize anything.” She ties off another herb bundle with quick fingers. “I keep thinking if I just plan enough, organize enough, I can keep everyone alive.”
“That’s a lot to carry,” I tell her. “Too much.”
“Someone has to carry it.”
Touché.
We both smile faintly.
“I have a feeling more than you are carrying that load, Ree. I mean… I know I can carry part of it. I… I don’t feel like I’m competing here,” I say suddenly.
“For what?”
“For space. For attention. For value.”
She studies me. “That must be exhausting.”
“It was.” I look down at my hands. At the faint dusting of feathers along my wrists. “Here, it’s just… survival. Contribution. Being useful.”
“You are useful,” she says firmly. “And not because of what someone can get from you.”
The words hit harder than I expect. I nod once, throat tight.
“I want to help,” I say. “Not just exist.”
“You are helping. You will help more.”
I glance toward the tree line where Szhe’ka is perched, watching the sky. His silhouette is sharp against the light.
“It feels different,” I say softly. “Talking like this.”
“Better?” she asks.
“Yeah.” I breathe out slowly. “Better.”
She nudges a basket toward me.
“Then let’s keep you busy,” she says. “After we smoke the fish, I’ll show you how we keep Rannek supplied so you can take that over.”
