Page 110 of The Sniper
“Nothing to be ashamed about, brother.You have our support, and if you want to get back out in the field, we can ease you in.”
My chest had tightened.
“Fuck, thanks.”I stared at my boots.
Now they’ve gone, and I am sitting out on my deck, with my phone in my hand knowing I can’t put this conversation off any longer.
I find the name and push the green button.
“Son.”
“Hey, Dad.”I gaze at the grass on the lawn and rub my forehead.
“How’s the house?You want me to visit and help you extend the fence line?I think you should consider it.Adds value, and when you have kids—”
“Not yet, Dad.”I smile, knowing in my heart that he means well.
“Well, after the holidays.Your mom wants to visit.With all the wedding stuff happening with Jessie, you know how it is.”
“Dad.”
He’s silent.
“What’s wrong?”
I drop my head, leaning my forehead against the palm of my hand.
“Something happened.On one of my last deployments.”My voice comes out rough, almost broken.“What I saw...”
“It’s okay, Jay.Tell me what you can.”
“Not much.The details are irrelevant.Fuck,” I feel myself losing it.“Dad, it affected me.That’s why I left.”
He’s quiet for a while, then says, “I wondered.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.I know you and Liam have walked the same path together as kids, young men, and into the Air Force, but I watched you growing independent.Finding your own rhythm.”
He saw that?
“When you specialized as a sniper, I was incredibly proud.Not because of what you were doing, but that you chose something and put your all into it.”
My heart sinks.
“Well, I failed Dad.”
“Bullshit,” he curses, and henevercurses.“You said something happened.Tell me.”
A tear slides down my face, and I hate everything about this, but he’s my father and I need him to know who I am.
“I have PTSD from one of our operations.I’ve tried to deal with it, hoping it would go away, hell, even pretending it doesn’t exist.”
“Oh, son.Jesus.”
“I just wanted to make you proud.”I shake my head, swallowing down all the emotion.
“I’m fucking proud, Jayden.I couldn’t be more proud.You served your country; you protected your sister since she was born—much to her chagrin—and you’ve been a good, honest man.You love your mother and come home every holiday.”
