Page 111 of The Sniper
More swallowing.
“Yeah?”I smile.
“We will help you get through this.Tell me what you need.”
“Nothing.You just did it.”I smile, smash away the tears, and draw in a deep breath.“I’m staying with BHS but in a different role for now.”
“Maybe this is what you’re meant to be doing.I know you have more to offer.”Dad adds.“You always had good grades.Don’t let that experience define you, there is a lot of life ahead of you.”
I hadn’t thought of it like that.
Most people change their careers throughout life, and perhaps this was a new path.
“And Jay,” Dad says.“I may not have served, but I know enough men who have returned from action changed.That’s not a failure.Nothing about war is natural.We might be wired to protect ourselves and our loved ones, if say, a lion or bear or a madman appeared in front of us.But war these days?That’s not what that is.”
Yeah.
Dad seemed to understand a hell of a lot more than I gave him credit for.Guess kids do that.Even grown-up kids.
Which is probably why I spit out the next thing I say.“I met a girl.”
“Oh yeah?You going to marry her?”
I laugh.
If that were a possibility, I would be down on my knees...the problem is, I don’t have the bank balance to buy her the big ring or the big house she deserves.
“Unfortunately, she’s way out of my league.”I stretch out my legs and imagine our kids running around the lawn, the fence done because Dad stayed the weekend building it, and Tiffany is in the kitchen with Mom making lunch.
I like that vision.
“So was your mom, but you know what I did?”
I’ve never heard him say that before.They have a little story they tell over and over about meeting at the movie theatre and mom being shy.How he fell for her the first time he saw her, tossing popcorn so it bounced off her head.
“What did you do?”I ask, thinking he’s going to give me an A-Z of steps that I’ll ignore.
“I let her decide,” Dad says.“I told her I was in love with her and then let her decide.”
I wait for the rest as his words sink in.
Then they finally do.
“Because if I don’t, I’ll never know.”I’m nodding as I speak.
“See, you’re my brightest kid,” Dad replies, cheekily.
“You say that to Jessie, too.”I chuckle.
“And you’re almost ready to be a dad.Go figure.”
I laugh and say goodbye.When I hang up, feeling so much lighter than I have in months, I nod out on my chair for another hour thinking.
Planning my next move.
Because it’s obvious that if I don’t do it now, the tiny slither of opportunity could disappear forever.
If it's not too late already.
