Page 130 of The Blade in the Ashes
My swallow was audible. “Well, it’s time to get it back. What would you like? If we don’t have it, I’ll order someone to go get it.”
Her eyes sparked, hand rising to cover a yawn. The bones of her wrist still seemed somewhat misshapen, but she hadn't complained about it. “Isn’t that an abuse of your power as king?”
I met her grin with one of my own, pretending to think about it for a moment. “I’m fairly certain that lambs and cows are typical sacrifices to the Gods. It’s my duty to ensure my kingdom remains strong in its faith.”
She gave me a halfhearted chuckle, resting her head back against the pillows and tugging me back down beside her. Her touch lacked any real strength, but I followed where she led me and allowed her to tuck herself under my arm.
“Can we eat in a little bit?” she asked through another yawn. “I just want to stay here with you for a little longer before life resumes again.”
There wasn’t a Descendant alive with the power to stop time, but I would have bargained away my soul to freeze that moment if that’s what she wanted.
“We can do whatever you want,” I promised her, beginning to trace small circles along her shoulder.
“I know we can’t hide away for much longer. There’s so much to do.”
“Hush.” I pressed my lips to the top of her head. “We can take our time.”
“How long have we been in here?”
I felt her eyelashes flutter against my bare chest, the sensation a tickle that I welcomed. “A few days,” I told her evasively.
Five days, to be precise. Five days that she'd been asleep more than she'd been awake. Five days that I'd neglected checking in with the soldiers and missed meetings with my generals.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered, stiffening.
I brushed my fingers over her brow, smoothing away the worried lines. “Don't be. I don't regret a single second.”
She smiled against me, her head lifting and falling in a small nod as she hummed a word of thanks before sighing contentedly.
Sitting like this, pressed against one another, I could almost forget that any time had passed at all. I could almost pretend we were back in Hyrax Manor after I’d just told her I loved her and she’d welcomed me into her body for that first time.
That had been the happiest day of my life. And if I closed my eyes and breathed her in, I could almost pretend I was still living in that moment.
Almost.
“Theadora,” I couldn’t keep the burning shame from my cracking voice or hide the way my body shuddered under her. “I can never tell you how deeply sorry I am.”
She lifted her head, leveling me with a confused stare. “Clay—”
“I understand if you can never forgive me.”
“What would I need to forgive you for?”
I lifted myself into a seated position on the bed, unfolding her from me so that I could turn away. I wasn’t one to hide away from my failures, but this shame was so deep I couldn’t bear to have her see it. Not her.
Stubborn as she was, though, she followed me, tugging on my shoulder. “Don’t you dare turn away from me!”
“Thea, I left you there.” Admitting it out loud was agonizing. My voice trembled, a single tear already falling down my cheek. “I shouldneverhave left you there.”
Everything that happened to her,allof it, could have been avoided if I had fought back that night in the castle. If I'd stopped that wedding, if I'd fought for her the way she deserved then those nightmares wouldn't be plaguing her every time she closed her eyes.
This was my fault. My burden to carry.
“You didn’t have a choice!” she shouted, throwing away the blanket and rushing to her feet. “I didn’t give you one!”
She rounded the bed to stand before me, a wild look in her eyes as she shook her hands between us. The iron marriage bands glinted in the candlelight. Proof of my failure. My stomach turned looking at them, the memory of her wedding like a never-ending punch in the gut.
“I was the one who married him and stayed. Iwantedyou to leave, to get our friends out and protect our people. You did everything you were supposed to do!”
