Page 131 of The Blade in the Ashes
How could she even think that? How could she think that anything mattered more thanher?
Once again, I averted my gaze from her. “I failed you. I know you may not feel that way now, but it’s okay if you start to once you heal. I’ll give you whatever space you need.”
Silence filled the space around us. An unending silence.
When the sound of shattering glass filled the room, I jolted to my feet, rushing towards her instinctively, only to slow when I realized the sound had come fromher. She’d thrown the crystal decanter that had been on my desk clear across the room. Fragments of it now sparkled on the floor.
“You don’t get to say that to me,” she insisted, upper lip curled back defiantly. Her eyes darkened as she gulped down a heaving breath.“I have lost enough Clayton Vail. I have lost my friends, my home, my power. I'm nothing anymore! You are the only thing in this realm that has yet to be taken from me and I refuse to lose you too! Irefuse.”
Her pain was like another presence in the room, a third specter watching us. It was obvious in the set of her shoulders and the mist in her eyes. Her hands trembled at her sides, chest rising and falling as she took a shuddering breath.
I couldn't fix it. As desperately as I wanted to, I couldn't undo what she'd been forced to survive. I was helpless to do anything but stand there and ache for her.
And then, all at once, she moved.
She gripped my face in her hands, pulling my mouth to hers and kissing me with the passion of every day we had spent forced apart. Her tongue parted my lips purposefully, diving into my mouth with rushed intensity. The metal of the marriage bands dug into my cheeks, but I ignored the feeling as I gripped her waist and ripped her to me, holding her tightly as if that might keep her from ever being taken from me again.
She was the center of my world, anchoring me in the chaos that seemed all around.
“Have I not lost enough?” She asked when she broke away.
“Thea. Love, I—”
“I won’t lose you,” she interrupted breathlessly. “I won’t losethis. Not even to your own guilt.”
Gods, she shattered me.
My throat refused to swallow. It was all I could do to swipe my fingers across her face and brush away the tears that had fallen.
“I love you,” she whispered, the words of devotion a vow between us. “Feelthat,Clay. Not shame or regret, or misguided guilt. Let my love be the only thing you feel right now.”
I wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, pulling her to rest my forehead against hers. Her scent was a calming balm over me. The sweetest smell in all the realms.
“Promise me,” she demanded, smacking a hand against my chest. “Promise me you will not blame yourself for the actions of other men.”
The words locked in my throat, my chest shuddering twice with emotion. Magic slithered up the back of my neck once more, scales ripplingunder the surface. It didn’t matter that she was here, now, in my grasp; all I could see was the fear in her eyes as she’d run towards me.
Blood dripping down her swollen face.
Dress torn and hanging off her.
She hit me again, this time hard enough to sting. “I mean it, Clayton! Promise me right now.”
Blue eyes burned into mine, and though she claimed her power was gone, I swore I felt a ripple of magic go shooting through the room, leaving the glass shards of the decanter vibrating on the floor.
“Alright.” I pressed my hand over hers, stilling it. “Alright, love. I hear you.”
“None of this matters if we’re not together." She sniffled loudly, the simple gesture shaking her entire body. “I need this. I need something to fight for, because without it I might…. I might give up.”
No. That was unacceptable.
“You will not give up, Theadora.” I held her close, fingers digging into her waist. “You cry, you scream, you rage, but you never,evergive up. If you need me, then you have me. I’m not going anywhere. No one is going to change that ever again. I will stand by your side, or I will die by it.”
She nodded, her tears staining my shirt, but I didn’t dare say another word. Her need for me far outweighed my own need to feel responsible for this. So, I held onto her for a long while, running a hand in circles on her back and muttering soothing words of adoration.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Iris
