Page 23 of The Blade in the Ashes
Longing pierced through me, sharp and relentless.
And completely undeniable.
“Yes, I am.”
I wasn’t sure what I would find if I turned to look at Caldrius’ face. Would it be anger or something else?
I didn’t want to know.
“When I first saw you in the Underworld, you looked so much like her my heart stopped.” His voice was low, a gravelly rumble in the otherwise silent chamber. “There are certain differences that I notice now, certain freckles she had that you don’t, or how your cheeks dimple in a way hers never did. The eyes, of course, too—you have Hyrax’s eyes. I didn’t notice any of that then, though; I just saw Isidore and I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe. Then you started yelling at Hyrax, and I realized you were nothing like the wife I had loved, who had been so soft-spoken and agreeable.”
Holding my loosened gown close to my chest, I turned, drawn to his voice.
“You looked like her, but your spirit was so much stronger. You had the unbreakable spirit of a Goddess and that was all it took for me to see you asyou. After that first time, I never saw her when I looked at you.”
His fingertips circled my free wrist, his thumb rubbing against the pulse at my wrist twice before letting go. We lingered there for a moment, staring at each other wordlessly.
“There were many petitioners today,” he breathed, the change in subject sending me reeling in confusion even as icy apprehension filled me.
It wasn’t uncommon at this time of year, when the snow was starting to fall and the winter brought unique challenges, for citizens to fill the halls of the castle asking for support from their leader. Caldrius had been a king once. He had to know that.
But the pinch of his brow told me this was different from a normal gathering of petitioners.
“And?” My voice was nothing more than a whisper.
“When Pasnia opened those portals. It wasn’t just Hyrax and me who came out.”
“The Undone?”
He had once told me about the beasts that lingered in the Underworld—souls who weren’t able to forgive themselves for their misdeeds. Their guilt ate away at them until they became nothing more than bloodthirsty creatures.
He nodded, gazing on the carpeted floor at his feet. “Among other things. There are monsters roaming the streets, crops dying in the cold, unrest and confusion.”
My stomach heaved. “Why are you telling me this?”
Caldrius lifted his gaze to mine. “Because you have always been a ruler, Thea. Whether it’s as Hyrax’s heir or—” he paused, looking away uncomfortably. “Or ashislover, those are your people, and they’re suffering. I know what that responsibility feels like. I just hope that you consider your moves carefully. Hyrax isn’t someone you want as an enemy.”
There was a beat of silence. A heaviness.
I didn’t know what to say to him.
Perhaps there wasn’t anything to say.
I nodded, walked to my bedroom, and closed the door behind me.
Chapter Eight
Iris
Nikolai fucking Legum.
I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.
But there he was, riding on the horse ahead of me, sunlight catching on his red hair. And he was still just as maddeningly tall and broad as he had been a year ago.
As we rode, I kept my gaze locked on the center of his back, ignoring the weighty stares my friends kept sending my way. They hadn’t stopped sneaking glances at me since I’d given them all a quick rundown of Nikolai and I’s history. I had told them about the mission the Order had sent me on, how I’d magically disguised myself as Nikolai’s bride, and fled his estate after I killed my target.
I had purposefully left out the part of the story where I had fallen for him.
