Page 66 of Rome
I leaned over and hugged him. “I don’t think it works that way, son. But it will be OK. Mommy and I both love you and your sister, and that will never, ever change. You hear me?”
“Yeah.” He was quiet again, then asked “Do you still love Mommy, too?”
I had to close my eyes for a second. “I sure do, and that won’t ever change either.”
Thankfully, he didn’t ask any more questions, and Everly woke up crying a few minutes later. I’d never been so grateful to have a dirty diaper to change in my fucking life.
I gave Abby a heads-up about our conversation when I dropped the kids off after dinner.
“Caleb, I…” she looked at me and shook her head helplessly, and I saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes.
“I know, baby girl. It will be OK.”
I kissed her forehead then left before I begged her to let me stay.
I couldn’t face the thought of going back to my new place to stare at the walls in silence for the rest of the night. I drove to Sinner’s house, instead, hoping he was home and not at the clubhouse. I lucked out.
Ten minutes later, I was asking his advice.
“I hate the thought that someday, Ethan’s gonna want to know the truth. He’s gonna ask what I did, why his mom and I split up. I’m so fuckin’ ashamed, Pop. How am I gonna tell my kids?”
“It ain’t gonna be easy, Rome. Your dad was about twelve years old when he overheard me and your grandma talkin’ late one night. It had been a bad day. Frankie had walked into the clubhouse to see one of the club girls trying to hang all over me. I shut the bitch down and kicked her out, but the damage had already been done. Frankie knew I was innocent, but it dredged up a helluva lot of bad memories, and she’d been upset all fuckin’ evening.” Pop stared at the floor, and I could tell he was lost in a hell of a lot of bad memories of his own.
“Pop, you don’t have to tell – “
“That boy stormed into the living room and got in my face. He’d heard it all. He’d been too fuckin’ young when Frankie had packed up and left my ass. Just a toddler then, so he hadn’t known anything about it until that night. He was so fuckin’ angry with me, I thought he was gonna take a swing at me.” He cracked a smile at that, sounding equal parts sad and proud.
“I had to sit him down and tell him the truth. I didn’t go into details, of course. But I admitted that I’d stepped out on his mom. Told him it was the biggest mistake I’d ever made, and I’d never fuckin’ do it again. He didn’t talk to me for about a week after that, but I made sure he understood how important fidelity was. Honor. Respect. Loyalty. Those aren’t just words. They fuckin’ mean somethin’. Sometimes they’re all a man’s got.”
“Yeah, I know, Pop.”
He clamped a hand on my shoulder and shook me a little. “You got all of those, Rome. You lost your way with your drinkin’, but you’re trying to do everything you can to make it right. That’s the sign of a good man, and I’m proud of ya.”
“I don’t fuckin’ feel like a good man. I feel like a piece of shit for destroying my wife, tearing my family apart. I just didn’t see it, Pop. I didn’t think the drinking was that big of a deal. I thought Abby was worrying over nothin’. I was so damned wrong it’s not even funny.”
“That’s another thing you’re gonna need to come clean with your kids about, even if the rest of it never comes out. They need to know to be careful with the booze. It’s way too damned easy for that shit to get outta hand.”
I nodded. Kim and I had discussed that already.
I headed home a couple of hours later and went straight to bed. It took a while, but I finally fell asleep curled up with the pillow that carried the faint scent of cherry blossoms.
Three days later I got word that the judge had signed off on the divorce decree. It was official. Abby was no longer my wife, at least according to the law. As far as I was concerned though, she’d be my wife until the day I took my last breath.
Chapter 22
Abby
I sat in the parking lot, staring through my windshield at the clubhouse, trying to work up the nerve to get out of my car and walk inside. I wanted to see Viking though. The old man had just had surgery to repair his rotator cuff, and I wanted to pay him a visit and drop off a care package. He’d been one of the first ones to welcome me all those years ago, even before Caleb and I had been a couple. As Sinner’s best friend for more than fifty years, he was like family. Viking was a life-long bachelor, and I knew he had some nieces and nephews scattered around, but none lived close by anymore. So, I knew I needed to put on my big girl pants and get the fuck over it.
It was just a building. It couldn’t hurt me anymore. The damage had already been done. Caleb was officially my ex-husband as of almost three weeks ago, as hard as that was to accept.
I stepped out of the car, grabbing the gift bag I’d brought, which contained some of Viking’s favorite snacks, including a batch of my peanut butter cookies that he loved. I took a deep breath and smoothed down my jacket over my hips. I knew I looked good. I’d prepared carefully for this visit.
I’d lost all of the baby weight, and then some, in the last thirteen weeks. Between my lack of appetite and my gym workouts, I was looking better than I had in years. I was still curvy, and I always would be, but now I felt toned and curvy, as opposed to lumpy and curvy. Amelia had laughed when I’d told her that, but it was true.
I’d had to buy a new wardrobe, since I’d gone down a size compared to my pre-Everly shape. The jeans I was wearing now fit me like a glove, and the fitted shirt I was wearing under my jacket was actually tucked in, something I hadn’t done in years because I’d been too conscious of my poochy belly. The deep V-neck accented my boobs nicely, and the new bra I was wearing was doing a kickass job of holding the girls up. I was wearing makeup, for the first time in forever, and my wavy hair was actually cooperating for once.
So, as I pulled open the door and stepped inside, I was feeling as confident as I could in this situation. I was relieved that the common room was just about empty. I wasn’t all that surprised. It was four o’clock on a Monday afternoon. It was also President’s Day, so school had been closed. Ethan and Everly were with my mom. She worked as a loan officer at a bank, so she was also off for the government holiday. I was meeting Amelia and Laura tonight for dinner, and Mom had come to my house to watch the kids, so she could put them to bed if I wasn’t home in time.
