Page 86 of Pucking Them

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Guilt floods through me, rooting me to the spot.

I clutch the paperwork to my chest like a shield.

“I need that back.” Olivia holds out her long-nailed hand to me calmly.

I glance down at the neatly folded paperwork.

I can’t give it her. It’s mine. I need it.

If I let it go, then the strangers will come in the night and take me away.

The nightmare will start again…

Wait, something is wrong about that.

What…?

Panic shoots through me. I take a step back.

Olivia tilts her head, assessing me. “This is why you need the new meds, you see? It will help you to control these episodes. Do you want that?”

That doesn’t feel right.

I wasn’t like this before I came into Olivia’s office. Yet the guilt is seeping into my bones.

Everything is my fault.

My therapist is gone because of me. Staff have lost their jobs because I allowed Wilder to push my buttons. I didn’t lead my team properly.

I deserve this.

My victories belong to Shay and not to me.

What if Bruno, my parents, the teachers and professionals, Wilder, and coach were right about me?

I’m a bad person.

Bad, bad, bad.

Stop thinking.

Stop, stop, stop.

I clutch the paper harder until it crumples.

My mind is a mess.

Disorientated, I can only nod.

Olivia’s eyes gleam, and she smiles with too sharp crocodile teeth. “Excellent. I will have your new medication prescribed and delivered to you. But for now, coach wanted me to raise the impact of your relationship on your?—”

“No,” I snarl, “my relationship is off-limits. That’s a boundary for me.”

“Weaponizing therapy speak.” Olivia takes a deep drink of water. “I may need to do a further evaluation. Some of your patterns suggest narcissistic traits.”

“Are you sure that you’re not talking about yourself?”

She doesn’t even flinch. “That’s deflection. Turning it back on me is classic narcissism. How predictable and revealing.”

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