Page 71 of Stops Along the Way
He takes a sip from his drink, nodding inquisitively. “What are you hoping to do?”
“I’m planning to go right into grad school. I like to spend my time learning.”
“I could see that. What’s been your favorite class so far?”
With a smile, I use the sign language alphabet to fingerspell the lettersA,S,L. “It’s not even in my major, but my roommate Naomi and I have been taking sign language together.”
“Oh, right, I remember that.”
“It’s been cool. Naomi has some dexterity things that make using her hands difficult sometimes, but my vision makes it a little hard for me on the receptive end, so we’re in the same boat figuring it out, which is nice. Our teacher has been helpful with showing us adaptations that make sign language more accessible.”
“That’s awesome. You two decided to room together a third year?”
“Yep, planning for all four! She’s great. We started our own mini board game nights since I couldn’t make it to club meetups this semester. What about you? Your roommate freshman year was a nightmare.”
He makes awelpsound, leaning back against the side door. “Oh yeah, no, that turned sour real fast.”
“The guy from last year seemed nice.” I’m struggling to remember his name, though.
“Yeah, I’m still living with Aaron now. He’s cool.”
“That’s good.” I’m trying to think of more questions to ask but don’t even need to because Declan continues hyping up Aaron.
“He’s from Iowa. He kind of reminds me of you a little bit—loves to play an action card, that’s for sure. Though you have more success with those moves than he does. But it’s a shame we haven’t all played together yet. We should definitely do that when we’re back from break. He asked about you a few weeks ago.”
“He did?” I furrow my brows. “About what?”
“Just, like, what you were up to since you haven’t been around.”
A confused smile grows across my face. “Are you trying to set me up with your roommate?”
Declan laughs, caught off guard. “No, but I mean, I guess I wouldn’t be opposed if that’s what it took to have you hanging around again? I mean, since you made it clear that you and me isn’t something that would ever happen.”
“You and me?” I repeat, the smile vanishing from my face. He dismissed the notion of us so pragmatically. “Is that something that was ever on the table?”
Declan’s head drops, and he wraps up his garbage, placing it back into the fast-food bag, the burger unfinished. “Well…back during freshman year, I thought maybe it was just a matter of time.”
I try another bite, but I can’t bring myself to eat anymore, either. I scrunch it up and add it to the trash, taking a sip from my water. “I’m glad I wasn’t imagining that.”
He’s trying to keep his tone casual. “Right, there was a vibe?”
We should stop skirting around the obvious. Hopefully, this will be easier to talk about if I keep it all in past tense. Therewas a chance we could’ve reconnectedthen. I hold my chin up, poised and assured. “Yes, there was.”
Declan props one leg up on the seat, resting his arm across his knee. “It could be different now,” he says, eager to immediately bring us to the present. “Like, life’s different, isn’t it? Pretty all right, even?”
I lean against the door opposite him, my legs crossed. “But shouldn’t it be possible to stay with someone during the hard times too?”
“Maybe not at eighteen?”
Head tilted, I squint. “We’re not that much older. It’d still be very easy to cut loose the second things got tricky.”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’ve changed a lot over the last few years. Living in a new place, learning all sorts of things. I think I could really show up for some—” He’s about to saysomeone, avoiding directly mentioning each other like I’ve been trying to, but he switches to “Could really show up foryou.”
There’s no mistaking what we’re talking about. I falter with my words and mutter, “True, I’m not the same person I was back then.”
He cracks his fingers and takes a deep breath. “What if we were just meeting right now for the first time?”
“Well, that would be different…” I let my words trail off, unsure how much I should reveal here.
