Page 97 of Delirium
“Phee, you can’t blame her for not being strong enough. She isn’t you.”
“I know.” And I did know. I understood very well, and I knew I couldn’t blame her for being weak, for trusting the wrong people. But some days, it felt as if this little chest I’d buried all those emotions directed at her in would burst, and I wouldn’t have an outlet to release them.
“I hate this anger directed at her,” I murmured as we came to the front of the house. “I hate that I can’t let it go,” I whispered, my eyes zeroing in on the lone figure standing at the front porch with his hands in his pockets, waiting for us.
“I really hate what it did to all of us,” I mumbled, looking at Storm. “I hate it, because it makes me feel as if I’m not deserving of love. Because if my own mother didn’t love me, how could anyone else.”
“Babe,” Storm said. “Your mother loved you in the way that she knew how to. I’m sure she suffered enough. It took me a long time to realize that my mom loved me, in her own fucked-up way. My father, not so much. My father never wanted me, but sometimes I would remember these little things she did when he wasn’t home. She used to sing while preparing sandwiches for the two of us. She used to tell me stories. She used to hide me in the closet when the other men came to visit her, teaching me to stay quiet. And look, I hated that closet. I hated many things about my childhood, but I understand that she did the best she could, and I can’t blame her for other things. I know she tried to fight my father, and now I know she wasn’t the one who sold me to Nikolai—it was him, my father. Look.” He took a deep breath. “We can talk about this more later, but I really, really, really need to stretch my legs.” He then looked at Kieran who came down the stairs, waiting for us to emerge from the car. “And I need to punch lover boy over there.”
“Storm!” I burst out laughing. “You’re really going to punch him?”
“You better be around.” He smirked, opening the door. “You might need to help him get up.”
Storm pushed the door open, exiting with a grunt, and as he said, stretching his legs and his arms as soon as he came out of the car. I followed suit, not trusting him to only end it with a punch to Kieran’s face, because the last thing we all needed was yet another war.
Fresh evening air slammed into me as soon as I stepped out of the car, the change in pressure between the car and the outside slamming into me with force, and the fatigue I thought was just a wayward thought, came back in full force, punishing me for pushing my body too much.
With each new month, the pregnancy was taking a toll on me—not in a bad way, but in a way where I just wanted to sleep and do nothing, when there were many things I wanted to do.
“Birdy,” Kieran called out, slowly coming to me, ignoring Storm on the other side of the car. “You look good.” He smiled, opening his arms for me to step in.
Maybe I shouldn’t have done it with Storm so close by, but he would need to get used to the fact that these guys were still my family. The only people who truly understood everything we went through. I wasn’t going to forsake them just because Storm felt jealous over our interactions.
My arms wrapped around Kieran’s middle, my nose slowly filling with the familiar scent of lavender and clean soap, reminding me of my childhood and a time when things were a lot simpler.
“I missed you, Birdy,” he murmured, stepping back mere seconds after the hug. I knew he was doing it out of respect for Storm.
“I’m so happy you’re alive,” I murmured. “But you look like you went through hell.”
His dark hair was a lot longer than usual. The dark circles and the bloodshot eyes told me he didn’t sleep nearly enough, and the fact that he had lost weight since the last time I saw him, told me that whatever they went through wasn’t pretty at all.
“What happened in Mexico?” I asked. “I’ve been so worried.”
“Yeah.” he shuddered. “Mexico wasn’t the best time for us if I’m being very honest, but we made it through.”
“I tried finding you. Storm,” I glanced at my silent, broody companion, who kept his eyes on Kieran’s back, “tried finding you guys. Even my father did.”
“Your father?” Kieran frowned. “What do you mean?”
Shit. “You don’t know?” I smiled. “Oh man, there’s so much we need to talk about. Come on.” I pushed him toward Storm. “You guys need to get this over with.”
Storm’s nostrils flared, that familiar tic in his cheek reappeared, and I looked at him pointedly, hoping he would understand that he couldn’t—
And he did.
Storm’s arm flew up just as Kieran approached him, extending his arm for a handshake, connecting with Kieran’s cheek. The deafening sound of his fist slamming into his face, the bone crunching, and the surprised yelp from Kieran, all echoed around us.
As Kieran fell to the ground, keeping a hand on his cheek, glaring at Storm, my heart raced, waiting for Kieran to retaliate.
But he never did.
My eyes traveled from Storm to Kieran, feeling the testosterone in the air, but I never expected the laughter that erupted from Kieran to be the first thing to appear.
“Oh, man.” He kept on laughing as he stood up. “I definitely deserved that.”
I was flabbergasted, shocked, because in any other situation, Kieran would’ve retaliated. He wouldn’t have let Storm get away with it, even though he deserved it.
“I know we’ve met before, man, but…” Kieran came closer to Storm, scrunching his face in pain as his cheek moved. “But I would like us to start fresh.”
