Page 98 of Apathy
Skylar
Eighteen years old.
Eighteen years old and not a day wiser. If I were, maybe I wouldn’t have fallen for a guy when my life was a mess.
Six thousand five hundred and seventy days, and I wished I wasn’t here anymore. I wished I lived a different life, with a different family, in a different town, with different circumstances.
But wishes were one thing and reality was completely different, and no matter how much I wished that things were different, I couldn’t change who I was.
But I could still run from what was happening, if even just for a minute, for a second, for a teeny-tiny moment, I could run from my reality.
It was my birthday, and the only thing I wanted to do was to drown in my despair. But I couldn’t disappoint Lauren or the rest of our friends. The Halloween bonfire was an annual thing, sometimes happening at Infernum, sometimes deeper in the forest, and this year it was on the riverbank, close to Lauren’s parents’ cottage.
I honestly didn’t want to be surrounded by people tonight, but I knew it was better than getting high on my own.
Dylan also wasn’t here. He promised he would be home for my birthday, but all I got was a text message this morning, telling me that he wouldn’t be able to make it.
No birthday wishes, no apologies because I actually needed him here, nothing.
I wanted to be angry at him, but since I broke my own heart and ran away from Ash, I couldn’t bring myself to care about anything at all. Not the major party Lauren was throwing, not the deranged killer who was still out there, not Kane who was behaving like a lunatic, nothing. I couldn’t care about anything.
It felt as if somebody punched me in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t sleep last night, and I looked more like a zombie than a girl who was celebrating her birthday.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, Lauren didn’t comment on my appearance or lack of makeup when she picked me up. Instead, she hugged me and led me to her car, and I was thankful for that. Putting makeup on was the least of my concerns right now.
“Tonight is going to be epic.” Lauren grinned, her voice mixing with the song.
“What is the name of this song?” I asked, instead of commenting about the bonfire and my lack of enthusiasm.
She looked at me, then at the console and picked up her phone, giving it to me. “I have no idea. Danny added it the other day, and I kinda like the voice of the singer.”
“There are two of them,” I murmured.
“What?”
“There are two singers.”
I felt her eyes on me as I scrolled through her phone until I found the full playlist Danny made for her.
“Enemies with Benefits” by Blind Channel. I scowled at the name.
“What’s wrong with you lately?” Lauren asked and when I looked at her, she was already looking toward the road.
“You mean, except getting attacked and all this weird shit happening around town?” I scoffed. “Nothing really, everything is just peachy.”
“See. That there. You would never respond like that before.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Lauren. Maybe having a near-death experience made me realize that I shouldn’t be keeping my mouth shut when people say something I don’t like.”
“That wasn’t a near-death experience.” She frowned.
“And how the fuck would you know?”
Ever since we found Megan’s body, Lauren had turned into someone I didn’t know. Or maybe that’s how it worked in life. People you once called your friends would always start turning into acquaintances. Or maybe I was just too tired, too angry, too much of everything to care about trivial shit like parties, school, and other things she obviously wanted to talk about.
“You know what,” I started. “Forget I said anything. In a few months, none of this will matter either way.”
“What do you mean?” she asked as she turned toward the old gravelly road leading to the cottage.
