Page 99 of Apathy
I placed her phone in the holder and turned toward the window. “There’s only a few months left of school, and after that…” I trailed off.
“After that, what?” Her voice had a tone I didn’t like.
“You know what.” I turned toward her. “We’ll be leaving.”
Something passed over her face—something close to sorrow, close to pain. Something I didn’t notice before. But before I could ask her about it, she schooled her features and smiled.
“Yeah, we will be leaving.”
If it was disbelief lacing her voice, I didn’t ask, because I didn’t want to know right now. The only thing keeping me sane at the moment was the prospect of me leaving and never seeing this town ever again.
We rode in silence after that, the music filling the empty space and the miles separating Lauren and me. I had no idea how we got here, but something had changed between the two of us. We were friends since kindergarten. Our parents were friends, but somewhere after the start of this semester, we became distant, and while it bothered me in the beginning, I was starting to get used to it now.
The lights from the cottage started getting visible in the distance, but what pulled my attention was the bonfire not too far away from it.
“Holy shit,” I exclaimed as we came closer.
They really outdid themselves this year. The bonfire must have been at least nine feet high, and the silhouettes of people gathered around it were noticeable as Lauren parked closer to the fire than the house.
“That’s fucking huge.”
“Right?” She smiled her first real smile of the entire evening, and I hoped that tonight would go without unnecessary drama.
Mostly, I hoped he wasn’t here.
She shut down the ignition of the car, and I slowly exited, shuddering from the icy evening air surrounding us. Winworth was already cold at the end of October, but going further into the mountains or near the river during this time of the year felt like you were walking down the streets of the town in the middle of February.
“It’s so fucking cold,” I cried, wrapping my arms around me. “Why are we doing this again?” I asked as Lauren opened the trunk of the car, pulling out the two plastic bags I haven’t seen before. “What’s that?”
“More booze, of course.” She smiled. “And to answer your question,” she placed the plastic bags on the floor, “it’s your birthday, and it’s Halloween.”
No shit, Sherlock.
“Besides, we already had bonfires at every other place in town, but we never thought about having it next to the river.”
And I wondered fucking why. The lights on the cottage and the blazing fire should’ve been enough to illuminate the night, but it was as if the shadows hiding in these woods were defying light, clawing, crawling, coming closer and closer, whispering through the icy wind playing with my hair, luring me into their nest.
I was with Lauren, but I felt all alone, reliving the day we found Megan. Reliving that night the monster marred my skin, leaving his permanent mark on me. And their cold hands touched my shoulders, their claws piercing through the thick coat I wore. The crows sang, the forest watched, and the air I was inhaling became painful in my chest, my lungs seizing with each new breath I took.
I knew my mind was playing tricks on me, but there were eyes in this forest, watching my every move. Maybe it washim, waiting to snatch me away from my friends, to take me into his depraved world.
“Skylar!” I jumped as hands landed on my shoulders, swallowing the scream threatening to erupt from my chest. “What are you looking at?”
I turned around, calming myself down when Danny’s blue eyes connected with mine. I soon realized that Lauren wasn’t anywhere to be seen, while I stood at the edge of the forest. If I took another step, I would’ve been completely engulfed into the darkness surrounding the area.
Thankful for the distraction, I wrapped my arms around Danny’s middle, soaking in the warmth he emanated.
“I’ve missed you too, dude.” He laughed and wrapped his hands around me. “But what are you doing here? Lauren said you were still at the car, but I went there and, well—”
“I was thinking, I guess. I don’t know.” I moved away from him. “So much has happened in the last couple of months, and to think that I’m turning eighteen…” I trailed off. “I don’t know, Danny.” I shrugged and looked at him. “I just feel kinda lost, I guess.”
And this was why I loved Danny more than Rowan. Instead of bullshitting me and trying to tell me that everything was going to be okay, he just hugged me tighter, as if he could truly understand what I meant.
As if he could understand that all my choices were taken away from me, and this suffocating feeling wouldn’t go away. I was drowning in my own misery, and nobody said a thing. No one even noticed.
It was so easy slipping into a dark abyss, but once you were there, you suddenly realized that this wasn’t what you wanted. That you didn’t want your heart to die. That you wanted to fight. You wanted to live.
You didn’t want life to pass next to you while you stood in the same place, unable to move, because you locked yourself up.
