Page 124 of Shamed
I hear Mase come down the hall and quickly scramble to my feet, returning the photo to the top shelf before stepping away from it.
Mase wanders through the doorway with his gym bag slung over his shoulder, his dark eyes immediately seeking me out. It feels like a prickly vine is spreading from my stomach and curling around my organs, stabbing at my insides.
How could I let things get this far?
How could I do this to him?
Mase doesn’t deserve to be in the dark. He doesn’t deserveme.
The way he’s looking at me right now makes me sick because I know it’s a look of care and . . . love.
I tried to fool myself into thinking he didn’t have feelings for me, but deep down, I knew his were growing along with mine. It’s been eating away at my insides.
Mase steps further into the room, eyeing me curiously. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re looking a little pale.”
No.
I force the tears to stay down and place a hand on my stomach. “Actually, I’m feeling a little off. I think I might lay down for a bit.”
Two lines appear between his brows. “Can I get you anything? Do you want me to stay home?”
“No.” I laugh lightly while everything inside me twists further. “You go. I’ll be fine.”
A skeptical expression remains as he shifts his bag strap higher, but he doesn’t insist on staying.
Instead of leaving right away, he casts his eyes around the room like he’s nervous. “I was actually thinking . . . maybe you could come with me to my mom’s place on Christmas day.” My mouth parts, eyes slightly widening as panic flares. “You don’t have to decide right now,” he quickly adds. “Just think about it, okay?”
I close my mouth and nod. “Okay.”
I can’t go with him.I can’t. But I don’t want to say it out loud right now.
With another small smile, he steps toward me, palming my cheek and kissing my forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll see you later.”
“I will. See you.”
After a lingering look, he walks out of my room, then the apartment.
I feel like I’m going to be sick, because I know I need to leave, and it’s breaking my heart in two.
Mase needs to know. I need to tell him. I’mgoingto tell him.
But I’m not going to do it here, in his home.
Clint said my apartment still smells of fresh paint, but that I could return if I wanted. Of course, it was Mase who insisted I stay here for another few days.
With tears welling inside my eyes and a sob lodged in my throat, I pull my bags out from under the bed, then start filling them with all my clothes and belongings.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Mase
Something is wrong.
Tension keeps my shoulders high and rigid as I make my way back to my apartment.
Jayne didn’t show up tonight. She didn’t answer my text.Texts.
It’s caused an anxiety-induced knot to make a home in my gut, and it won’t ease. Especially not after the way she looked earlier.
