Page 96 of Vicious Intentions
I stare at the emojis, perplexed, since Anna isn’t prone to using them in our conversations, but then I realize it just so she doesn’t write the wordkilloutright.
Smart girl. You never know who might read these texts.
Me:Yes.
Anna:I’m sorry. I’m sure that must have been hard for you.
Me:It gets easier with each… how did you phrase it… delete?
Anna:That saddens me. It shouldn’t be easier. You should never have been put in that position. You should be in college, having the full college experience, right now. Not… I’m just sorry.
I lean my head back on my pillow and pinch the bridge of my nose. Again, she’s thinking of my brother and the future I stolefrom him. But it was never his future. He’s a Donato. His fate was always written in blood, even if he fantasized otherwise.
Me:Can we talk about anything else?
Me:What beauty did you see out in the world today?
She takes a while to respond, obviously still wanting to talk about how she wished Raffaele had a better life. But thankfully, she sees my text for what it is—a diversion away from such a loaded topic.
Anna:I had dinner over at Frankie’s today and saw Sister Margaretta laugh at one of Lucky’s jokes.
Me:That doesn’t sound like a moment of beauty to me, sweetheart.
Anna:Oh, believe me, it was. Mother Superior has always hated my brother. Her laughing at something he said wasn’t just beautiful, it was miraculous.
I laugh at the obvious glee in her words.
Anna:What about you,caro mio? What beauty did you witness today?
I shut my eyes and try to think long and hard to come up with something that will meet the requirements. But alas, I have nothing. There are days like that. More than a few, unfortunately.
My eyes go back to the thread of messages, my heart doing a somersault in my chest at Anna’s words. She’s no longer referring to me by my brother’s name, but with the Italian endearment that always makes my heart want to jump out of its cage.
Me:Your last text. You calling me ‘caro mio’is, and will always be, the most beautiful thing in my eyes.
Anna:That’s cheating, you know?
Me:Not when it’s true.
Anna goes silent for a bit. She always does whenever I say something like that. After Raffaele’s spectacular clusterfuck ofa call with her two months ago, it’s taken time for her to trust that my words are sincere again, that they are actually heartfelt and genuine. She thinks I flirt just for the sake of it, the way she assumes I do with every woman who comes into my life. And she would be right if she were talking to Raffaele.
But she’s not texting him. She’s texting me.
And I don’t flirt.
Unfortunately, judging by the question she asks next, it seems Anna still needs reassurance that I’m not like my whorish baby brother.
Anna:Can I ask you something?
Me:Anything.
Anna:Have you ever been with a woman?
And there it is.
Raffaele’s call is still fucking with her head.
Cazzo.
