Page 97 of Vicious Intentions
I let out an exhale before typing my answer.
Me:Yes.
Anna:Can I ask how many?
Me:You can.
Anna:Well… how many?
If I were to answer that question with how many women Raffaele has fucked, then I wouldn’t be able to give her a number. I doubt even he knows how many, and the little pissant is only twenty. But these questions aren’t directed at him, even if unbeknownst to Anna. She’s asking me, so I answer truthfully, since it’s the only way she’ll ever get to know me.
Me:Eight.
Anna:Really? Eight?
Me:I can’t tell if you think eight women are too many or too few.
Anna:No, it’s fine. A perfectly respectable number. I’m just surprised.
Me:What surprises you?
Anna:Well, you’ve always been more outgoing than me… I just figured…
Me:That I was fucking half of Manhattan?
Anna:Something like that.
Me:Well, I haven’t.
That’s Raffaele’s MO. Not mine.
Anna:Can I ask you why?
Me:Why what?
Anna:Why only eight women?
I chuckle.
Me:So you do think it’s a low number after all.
Anna:I didn’t say that. Again, I’m just surprised, and I want to understand you.
You already understand me more than anyone else, sweetheart.
Anna: Were they… girlfriends?
Me:No. With the life I lead, there is no room for such relationships. They were merely acquaintances. Nothing more.
Anna:It sounds… cold.
I frown at Anna’s statement. She’s not wrong. Most of my past sexual experiences were, in fact, cold. They were just a last resort I used to get a much-needed release. There were no feelings behind it. No real intimacy. I don’t even remember using a bed on any of those occasions. Just a staircase, or a bathroom, any empty room would do, just as long as the end goal was met. And when I was done, I was out of there before they could even put their panties back on.
There was no cuddling after. No intimate conversations or checking in with how we were feeling after. We both went in knowing that’s all it was, just sex, nothing more. And that was fine for all parties involved.
But now… I don’t think that type of sexual experience would appeal to me in any way. Actually, I know it wouldn’t. If it did, then I’d be in the double digits instead of a measly eight.
I can’t even remember the last time I was with a woman.
