Page 54 of Lost Lake
Instead… “Their help could make all the difference for us.”
He swiveled to look at her. “Don’t think I’ve missed your concern about how I’m feeling. It’s always helpful to know someone cares. I appreciate it. But you. How are you doing? I know this investigation is bringing up memories from your past.”
She’d been captivated by him for sure, but this concern for her emotional well-being added to her impression of a kind, considerate man. Still, she didn’t much want to talk about Victoria or how it was impacting her. That wasn’t fair to him. She expected him to talk to her, but she wouldn’t share.
But maybe if she did, he’d open up more. “I won’t lie and say it’s not bothering me, but I’m trying to work through it. Seeing you struggle with the loss of Kenna, and Lucy missing, minimizes anything I’m feeling.”
His fingers curled into Lucy’s sweater. “I thought I’d be prepared for something like this, especially with my family’s business. In fact, I’ve imagined what it would be like to lose one of them to violence. But none of that has prepared me for losing someone I love deeply.”
“I won’t pretend to know what it feels like. I don’t even fully comprehend losing my birth parents. When I was taken away from my mom, I was too young to really even understand what loving her meant. Now, if something happened to my adoptive parents, that would be a different story.”
“It’s an all-consuming pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
“But we’ll all experience it at some point.”
“Yes, assuming everyone loves someone.”
“Isn’t love something we all search for? Even the most unstable person wants to be loved.”
He nodded.
She probably shouldn’t make this more personal, but they’d been together for some time now, and she felt a need to discuss it. “You know, we have a lot in common in this area.”
“How so?”
“This mutual attraction we’ve been fighting forever that hasn’t gone anywhere. If I’m reading it right, we both avoid relationships. I mean, I’m certain about myself, but can’t be as certain about you.”
“You’re right. Now that you’ve met my family you can probably understand why.”
Confused, she glanced at him. “You mean because they aren’t loving?”
“It’s all about their criminal activity. No matter what I do, I can’t get away from my past. It’s like a shadow following me, and anyone who knows where I came from rarely trusts me completely.”
“But Kenna did.”
He nodded.
“So why don’t you believe someone else can?”
He shrugged.
“You’re a man of faith. Do you ever hear that still small voice of God telling you to open your heart to others and trust Him with what happens?”
“Yes, do you?”
“All the time.”
His challenging gaze held hers. “And do you listen and respond the way God wants you to?”
She jerked her focus back to the road. “I’ve tried, but I’ve never succeeded long-term. My issues always come back. Or should I say, I let my issues come back.”
“Same.” One word, but the pain ran deep in his tone.
She pulled to a stop at an intersection and looked him in the eye. “What if we tried together?”
He tilted his head. “You mean, follow these feelings and get together then help each other overcome our issues?”
“Yes.” She held her breath in case he found the suggestion too disgusting to even contemplate.
