Page 90 of Don't Leave Me Behind
“She didn’t need your protection, Merc. She needed your support, fuck, anyone’s support.”
“We have been nothing but supportive.”
“Right.” I shake my head, rolling my eyes at him. “That’s why Brooks told her she’d never make it, right? Why she avoided coming home for over a year. Because of all the support?” I wrap air quotes around support, my voice edged with a challenge.
Mercer shoves my chest, slamming my back into the pickup before he jabs a finger toward my face. “You don’t get to fucking talk. You weren’t here. Where was your support, Clay? Where were you when we got a call from a hospital in the middle of bum fuck nowhere saying she’d been hurt? Huh?”
My fingers ball into fists at my sides, heart pounding painfully in my chest. “You know where I was.” My voice comes out steady, calmer than I feel.
“That’s right,” he sneers. “You were in the hospital after you threw a tantrum so bad you scared my baby sister into getting on a bus in the middle of the night. Is that why she lied, Clay? Did you beat her up? She’s so fucking good, she wouldn’t tell us so that we wouldn’t turn on you. Is that what happened?”
“I would never hurt her, and you know it, Mercer.” A knife slices through me; he knows I wouldn’t hurt her. He has to know I didn’t do that.
“Do I? Because the Clay I knew wouldn’t lie to me. He wouldn’t hide my sister from me and keep secrets. He would’t go off half-cocked and confront his dad while he was on a fucking work call and then forget to tell me about it. So how am I supposed to know what you’re capable of, Clay? Huh?”
“Not that!” I bellow, shoving him back a step. I need space to breathe. “I wouldn’t fucking do that!”
“Then tell me what happened, Clay, because the evidence is stacked against you.” Mercer steps his feet apart, arms crossing over his chest, eyes bore into mine.
“It’s not my story to tell, Mercer.”
“Well, I’m asking you to tell me, Clay. Enough with the secrets, man. What did you do?”
The open anger in his eyes takes the wind right out of me. He’s supposed to be my best friend, my brother. “You’re supposed to fucking trust me,” I manage to calm my voice, the tenor shaking as I speak.
“How can I do that when you keep fucking lying?”
“I’m not lying now, Mercer.”
“Just go,” he spits out, disgust on his face. He starts to walk back toward his house. “I can’t even look at you.”
“Some asshole tried torapeher.” I spit the word out, knowing it’s going to hurt him, using it like a weapon, hitting my mark with expert precision. Mercer turns slowly, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Yeah, she was attacked in that bathroom, and she didn’t want you to know. Didn’t want any of you to know.”
The words taste bitter in my mouth. The flavor of betrayal coats my tongue. I did the one thing she asked me not to. Delivered it in such a way that I knew it would do the most damage to Mercer.Fuck.
“You need to leave.” Mercer’s voice comes out low, deadly.
I don’t look back at him as I storm to my truck. I hit the highway at a dangerously fast speed, racing against a clock I know I can’t beat. I pull up in front of Leni’s cabin, tires spinning so fast that the front porch and the woman standing on it are wrapped in a cloud of dust as I fling open the door.
When the dirt settles, it takes one look into Leni’s eyes to know that I just lost everything.
Chapter 29
Don’t Leave Me
Leni
I wander to the kitchen,making myself a cup of tea for the night, when I see an envelope on the kitchen table, my name written in Clay’s handwriting. An old familiar thrill rolls through my body, the excitement I used to feel when I’d get a letter from him, makes my chest squeeze. I take the letter to the couch and open it, smiling at the heading.
Day 8 of Forever
Day 1 of chucking the rules
Eleanor,
You know I’m shit with words by now. I don’t know why it’s so hard to tell you what I’m feeling in the moment. I’m trying to get better at it, I swear, I am. I’ve spent too many years trying not to think about you, trying not to want you. Then you burst back into my life and turned everything upside down again.
I know I’ve said it before, but I need you toknow, Leni, that there hasn’t been a day in the past ten years where I didn’t think about you. Where I didn’t almost pick up my phone to call you, just to hear your voice. God, I’ve fucking missed you. No one makes me feel the way that you do, and I know you think it’s simple. That the choice is black and white, but it’s not for me.
