Page 51 of Rival Season
I sit down next to her—kind of hoping she’ll rest her head on my arm again—but when she doesn’t, I pass her the tiramisu.
“Did you date much before Chadwick?” I venture. I really don’t want to talk about him, but I want her to have someone to talk to. Because she doesn’t seem to know many people here in California, and now I know she can’t even talk to her own mother.
“Is it weird that he was my first serious boyfriend?” She winces. “I’m twenty-six, and I only ever had one relationship.”
I shrug. “Same.”
“Yeah, but you’re only, like, twenty-two.”
“Practically twenty-three.”
My birthday is next week, actually, a couple of days after we get back from our stint on the road. But I don’t mention it. I’m not a big fan of my birthday. It was always a day I hated when I was growing up. I’ll probably just hang out with Cass that day.
She waves a hand like this is an unimportant detail. “Still a baby. And you may have only had one girlfriend, but I have a feeling that’s because you chose to play the field.”
She’s half right. Ididchoose that lifestyle for a long time—but not for the reason Hazel thinks.
Hazel scoops up a bite of tiramisu with her fork, then eyes me as she continues, “And before you go thinking I’m atotallyhopeless case, Playboy, I did date before Chadwick. A little. But I never made time for a relationship before him.”
It bothers me more than it should that the first man she ever made time for in her life was that douchebag…but this isn’t about me right now, it’s about her. “You’re a lot of things Hazel, but you sure as hell aren’t hopeless. I’d never think that about you,” I say, looking into her eyes.
Hazel snorts, and the exhale of air sounds like she’s physically deflating. “You’re the only person who wouldn’t, then. You heard my mother just now. She doesn’t want me to break up with Chadwick because she can’t believe I could land someone better than him.” She looks so downtrodden, I want to take her in my arms again, hold her, and stroke her hair to try and make it better.
But I resist the urge to reach for her, knowing I need to be here as her friend right now. A real friend, who actually gives a shit. “Well, your mom is dead wrong.”
“I think that’s one of the reasons I stayed with him so long. Because…a big part of me believed that, too. That I was lucky to get attention from a good-looking, successful guy like Chadwick. Nevermind having the honor of being his girlfriend.” Hazel’s lower lip wobbles. “I just wanted to impress my mom for once. She was over the moon when she found out I was dating him. Me and Chadwick’s parents have been friends for ages, we grew up vacationing with them, our moms always hoped we might gettogether. I think having my parents’ approval blinded me to his red flags.”
Blinking, I digest this new information about her and Chadwick’s history. Their relationship makes so much more sense now, they’ve known each other since childhood…and she probably only saw the best version of him.
I shake my head. “Wanting approval from the people we love is normal, and it can definitely skew our better judgment sometimes.”
I know this from experience with my dad.
Hazel swallows. “I know you hate Chadwick, but I really did love him at one point. And I was stupid enough to think he loved me, too.”
“Hazel, you have to stop this negative self-talk. You’ve referred to yourself during this conversation as hopeless, weak, and stupid… and none of those are adjectives that fit you in the slightest. You’re a brave, intelligent woman, who’s beautiful and deserves nothing but the best. You just happened to fall in love with someone who wasn’t worthy of you. It happens.”
She wipes her nose on her napkin then looks at me. “Doubt it happens to people like you.”
“People like me?”
“Hot athletes. I know you’re nothing like Chadwick in a lot of ways, but you fall into the same category as him on this one. You guys have women lining up, so you get to be the heartbreakers, not the ones getting your hearts broken.”
I bark out a laugh. “Okay, two things. One: thank you for acknowledging that I’m hot. Much appreciated.”
She rolls her eyes at this, but she’s fighting a smile as she says, “Do I even want to know what two is?”
“You do. Two: have I ever told you why your ex-boyfriend and I don’t get along?”
Her brow crinkles. “I assumed you were hockey rivals.”
“We are. But I’ve also known Chadwick for a long time. Back in high school, we were teammates.”
Hazel’s mouth drops open. “Really?”
“Yup.” I nod. “He was three grades above me, but he repeated his senior year to get into a better college for hockey, so I played on the same team as him for two years of high school. He loved hazing the underclassmen—and he especially hated me.”
“Why?”
