Page 52 of Rival Season
“It first started because I was better than him,” I answer honestly. “Back then, he wasn’t half as good a player as he is now, even though he had a private coach and the best training money could buy. I could skate circles around him, and we play the same position…so you can guess what happened. Before long, our Coach gave me more playing time than him. Even when I didn’t earn it.” I grimace, memories of my past mistakes surfacing in my mind. “Chadwick never forgave me for it.”
Hazel grimaces. “So he made your life hell?”
“Yes. And then he hooked up with my girlfriend.”
She sputters, coughing out a surprised squeak.
I laugh and pat Hazel on the back until she catches her breath and looks at me, those big green eyes of hers all blinky behind her glasses. “Your girlfriend, as in, the one relationship you’ve ever been in?”
“Tori,” I confirm. “We dated for almost three years.”
“Penn, I’m so sorry…” Her eyes go from soft and sympathetic to narrow and angry in a split second. “Chadwick is such an asshole,” she spits out.
I grin. “I’ve never heard you swear before.”
Her hand flies up to her mouth like she’s shocked she swore. This makes me laugh harder.
“Attagirl, say it like it is. Heisan asshole. And you don’t have to be sorry, by the way. It was a long time ago, and I should have seen it coming. I just told you to show you that stuff like thishappens to the best of us. That we can all be a little blind when we love someone. And hey, as badly as it sucks, it’s better to be cheated on than be a cheater, right?”
“I guess,” Hazel says with a nod, still looking annoyed. “Did she and Chadwick date after that?”
I remember his poisonous words at the grocery store and shake my head. I don’t want to get into that conversation with Hazel, she doesn’t need to know the things Chadwick said about her.
“No—it was a one time thing. She told me the next day, and we broke up. But we would have broken up anyway, Chadwick or no Chadwick. I don’t hold it against her. Made my peace with it years ago”
“That’s very noble of you,” Hazel says flatly. “I definitely hold Chadwick’s cheating against him.”
“Because Chadwick’s an asshole, remember?” I tease. “But Tori and I were just kids when we got together. Plus, I was going through a lot at the time, and I wasn’t always the best boyfriend…” I trail off.
Of course I was devastated at the time, but hindsight has given me a lot of clarity. Tori and I were young and naive, high on the feeling of falling and all the firsts we were experiencing together. But I was in no way ready for a relationship. I didn’t even have a reference point for how to love someone else.
Aside from my sister, I’d never truly loved—or been loved—by anyone before, and I gave Tori my attention, my devotion, my heart…everything I had to give, because somebodyfinallywanted me.
I can see now how that was way too heavy an emotional burden to expect anyone to carry. Love isn’t about giving in hopes that the other person won’t let go. I was inadvertently using our relationship as a tool to fill the gaping holes in my heart my childhood left there, and it was crushing her. Then,when my dad showed up at school and created the biggest mess imaginable, I understood that it scared her…that in that moment,Iscared her. And Chadwick provided her with what must’ve looked like a welcome escape from me and my mess at the time.
Hazel leans over and puts her head on my arm like she did before her phone call. The contact calms my thoughts instantly.
“Well, you’ve been nothing but the best fake boyfriend to me, Penn,” she says, and I grin, happy to have a diversion from picking open old wounds.
“We have Chadwick to thank for bringing us together. United by hatred for his cheating ass. A love story for the ages.” I smile as Hazel starts cracking up. “Speaking of Chad-dick, where’s the jerk in question tonight?”
I thought he’d be sliming around the apartment trying to woo Hazel with some over the top bullshit cookie cutter Valentine’s nonsense.
“Sacramento.”
I feel a weird amount of relief at this, but then my eyes flit back to the dishes in the sink. “So he’s out of town for the night and left this mess behind?”
“Yeah, I think he figured I’d clean it up before he got back.”
My eyes zone in on the dishes, but instead of feeling angry at the sight of his disrespect this time, I get an idea. I jump to my feet so quickly, Hazel almost tips sideways on the couch.
“What are you doing?” she asks as I stride over to the sink and start grabbing stacks of filthy plates.
“If he wants us to clean up his mess, then we’ll clean it up.”
“I don’t see how washing his dishes is going to help our plan to make him want to leave…” Hazel starts, but I’m already heading towards the hallway.
“Which one’s Chadwick’s room?” I call to her
