Page 42 of Never Forget
Jack's name landed between us.
"How's Jamie doing?" Anna asked. Softer now.
"She's staying in Havensworth. For Rosie." I picked at a thread on the couch cushion. "She wants to push for reforms. In the fire department."
"Well, that makes sense. Her brother just died because of a fire."
Because of me.
The thought came before I could stop it. I swallowed it down.
"So what's the problem?" Anna asked.
I exhaled. "I don't think the Havensworth Fire Department is going to be all that interested in listening to a woman from New York tell them what to do."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"That's the problem. I don't know how to help her."
Anna sighed. "Sammy."
"What?"
"You're scared that you can't fix this problem for her."
I didn't answer. She wasn't wrong.
"You've always been like this," Anna said. "With Mom. With me, before I left. With everyone you care about." She paused. "You think love means standing in front of someone. Shielding them. Taking the hit so they don't have to."
I thought about our mother, working doubles while Dad drank himself to death. The way I used to wait up for her, make sure there was food in the fridge, clean up whatever mess Dad had left behind so she wouldn't have to see it.
"But that's not what Jamie needs," Anna said. "She's not sixteen anymore, Sammy. She's a grown woman who moved to New York and built something all on her own. She doesn't need you to protect her from a fight. She needs you to be in it with her."
Sixteen.
Anna didn't know why that number landed the way it did. She didn't know what happened to Jamie that year. But I did. I remembered finding her in a hidden corner of our high school, shaking, broken. I remembered not knowing what to say. Not being able to fix it. Not being able to do anything except sit there while someone I cared about fell apart.
I'd been trying to make up for that ever since.
"You can't fix everything for the people you love," Anna said quietly. "But you can show up. That's all any of us can do."
I sighed. "Yeah. You might be right."
"I usually am."
I was lucky to have her. Even from three states away, even with everything our family had been through, she still showed up. Still called. Still knew exactly what to say when I didn't know what I needed to hear.
"Thanks, Anna."
"Anytime, Sammy." She paused before adding, "And call me after you talk to Amber."
"Why?"
"Can't a sister be nosy?"
I laughed.
"And Sammy?"
