Page 43 of Never Forget
"Yeah?"
"I'm proud of you."
"Love you, Anna."
"Love you too."
"Good night."
I hung up and sat there for a long time, the phone still warm in my hand.
Something had shifted. I could feel it. Like a door I'd been leaning against had finally swung open, and all I had to do was walk through.
Amber showed up the next evening with a stack of brochures in her arms.
"I'm back!" She kissed my cheek before I could react. "Did you miss me?"
"Amber—"
She breezed past me like she still belonged here, dropping her purse on the counter and spreading the glossy pamphlets across my kitchen table. Each one fanned out like a hand of cards she expected me to play.
"Daddy gave me these when I got home. He's been doing research." She smiled up at me, bright and expectant. "He talked to Graff again. The recommendation letter is ready whenever you want it. We could be starting classes by fall?—"
"I'm not going to college."
She stopped. "What?"
"I'm not going to college with you, Amber."
Her brow furrowed. Her smile faltered like she was waiting for the punchline.
"I'm staying a firefighter. This is who I am."
"You're serious?"
"I am."
Amber laughed. Soft. Gentle. Like I'd said something silly and she was being patient with me. "Sam. You're just upset. Jack dying has you all turned around?—"
"This isn't about Jack."
"Of course it is." She stepped closer, her hand finding my arm. "You're grieving. You're not thinking clearly. But once you've had some time?—"
"Amber, I'm telling you the truth." I took a breath. "You deserve someone who wants the same things you do."
She went still. Her hand stayed on my arm, but the warmth drained out of her touch.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm not that person. I'm never going to want the life your father has planned for us." I met her eyes. "You should be with someone who's excited about that future. Not someone you have to drag into it."
Her face shifted. Hurt flickering beneath the surface, quick and sharp. For a moment I thought she might actually hear me.
"Maybe you just need some time."
"Amber—"
"Take some time." She grabbed her purse from the counter. Kissed my cheek. "You'll see. Call me when you're ready."
