Page 119 of Never Forget
Then he tilted his face down and kissed me.
It wasn't like the first time. No urgency. No two weeks of wanting him collapsing into one night. Just his mouth on mine, soft, and his hand moving from my wrist to cup the back of my head. The long, slow exhale of something that had been held too tight for too long finally letting go.
When he pulled back, he didn't go far. His forehead stayed against mine.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
I pulled his face down and kissed him properly. Not a soft one. A yes.
His hand slid to the back of my neck and stayed there. He kissed me like he was still half-afraid I might step back. I didn't. I moved closer until there was no space left between us and he let out a breath I felt more than heard.
"Jamie."
"I'm here."
He walked me backward without breaking the kiss, one slow step at a time, his hand steady at the small of my back. The living room gave way to the hallway. The hallway gave way to his bedroom.
He reached behind me and pushed the door shut.
He undressed me slowly. He'd never hurried with me and he didn't now. His fingers worked the buttons of my shirt like he was careful of me, like four days of not being allowed to touch me had made him cautious. I slid his shirt off his shoulders, put my palm flat against his chest and felt his heart going faster than his face let on.
"Hi," I said, quietly.
"Hi."
His voice broke on the word. He kissed me again. I felt him smile against my mouth, small and a little wet. Then the smile was gone and he was just kissing me.
He laid me down on the bed and settled over me. His forehead came to mine before anything else.
"You sure."
"Yes."
"Jamie."
"Sam. I'm sure."
He kissed me slowly. His hand found mine on the pillow and our fingers laced together without either of us thinking about it.
He was gentle in a way that almost undid me. Every place his hand went was a question, and every place he lingered was him waiting for the answer. I gave him every one. When we came together, it was quiet—slow and full. His face was against mine the whole time, and when I said his name he answered me.
After, I lay on his chest and listened to his heart settle back down.
His hand moved in slow circles on my back.
Neither of us said anything for a long time.
The afternoon light was coming through the blinds in stripes. The apartment was quiet. Somewhere down the street a car door shut. In here it was only the two of us and the sound of him breathing.
"I love you," he said into my hair.
"I love you."
He pulled me a little closer and I let him.
A long quiet minute passed.
