Page 53 of Cyber
Just me and Violet, and the little boy or girl I was growing in my body. I wasn't sure I could cope with doing it alone. Without even a single friend to share the little milestones with. I wasn't afraid of the sleepless nights and commitment of being a single mum, but I did want to share those moments.
Without thinking, I reached for my phone. There was only one personal number programmed into it, and I pressed on it without even thinking.
He answered after five rings, a second before I was about to cancel the call.
“Iris?” His voice was sleepy, and it took me a moment to remember that they were several hours behind over there. It was the middle of the night. “Is everything ok?”
I could hear rustling down the line and kicked myself. I shouldn't have phoned him. This was all one big mistake. Pregnant or not, I couldn't expect the Savage Sons to be there for us, they had already given up so much.
Stuttering, I almost dropped the phone. “Sorry, I shouldn't have rung.” Unshed tears made my voice thick.
Monster sighed loudly down the line. “What's happened Iris?”
He sounded more awake, but there was a note of something I couldn't pinpoint in his voice, almost like he didn't want to talk to me.
“It's nothing, I should let you go back to bed.”
“Do you and Violet need more money?”
I shook my head before I realised he couldn't see me. “No, and you don't have to send me any money. I have a job now and…”
“I'm not the one sending you money, Iris.”
What did he mean he wasn't the one sending me money? If it wasn't him then who was it?
“What is the problem, Iris? Has something happened? Is it Violet?”
Taking a deep breath, I tried to make the decision. I had two choices: either keep my pregnancy a secret and try and go on with my life, or tell him and have to deal with the possibility that Monster would tell me to go to hell for causing the death of his oldest friend.
“It's not Violet. She's fine. She started school and has friends.” I sucked in a shaky breath. “She misses everyone though.”
“Did you really call me at four in the morning to talk about how well you’re doing?” Monster didn't even try to keep the anger out of his voice.
“No, but...” A sob escaped me and I bit down on my closed fist to stifle the next one. Not that it mattered, Monster heard it anyway.
“Iris stop fucking around and tell me what’s wrong. I can hear it in your voice. You haven't tried to contact any of us in the time you have been gone, so it's pretty obvious that something has happened.”
“I'm pregnant,” I mumbled around my fist, but I knew he heard. There was a sharp intake of breath, and then silence, a silence that stretched on for so long that I had to check whether the line was still open. “Monster, are you there?”
“Are you sure?” He finally said.
“Yeah.”
“And it's Cyber’s?” Something new was making his usually deep voice higher.
Maybe he didn't believe me, maybe he thought I was just trying to get more money out of them. I had no way of knowing. Monster wasn’t giving anything away.
He didn't wait for me to answer.
“I have to go, Iris. Keep your phone on you and I will ring you back soon.”
The call ended with a beep that seemed loud in the sudden silence. I frowned. Was that it? I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but it wasn't for him to put the damn phone down on me.
I waited.
And then I waited some more, and still Monster didn't phone back. After four days, I resigned myself to the fact that he wasn't going to.
Which was fine. I didn’t know what I had expected anyway. It wasn't like he was just down the road. And even if he was, I couldn’t expect him to come and hold my hand through my numerous appointments. We were friends, but we weren't that close.
