Page 49 of Ache
Each one claims a side of the bed, and all I can do is sit perfectly still, watching their every move.
The energy in the air is off. It’s thick with tension, and something else. Something I can’t identify. I can feel it, though. Tugging at my core and wrapping around my gut.
My throat is dry, and my heartbeat is rapid.
Tage sits on the edge of the bed first.
Placing his hand over mine, he says, “I’m sorry, love.”
My jaw drops. Tage never apologizes. For anything. He’s always stood by his decisions without hesitation. It’s one of the things I equally love and hate about him. “I’m sorry for everything. For today. For yesterday. For the last eight years.” His hazel eyes are so raw. So genuine. They’re the same eyes that used to look at me all those years ago. A lump forms in my throat. I don’t want to cry, but I’m on the brink.
“I’m so mad at you,” I whisper. I want to scream it, but I can’t. My voice is nearly gone.
“I know. That’s why I’m here. Why we’re both here.” He glances over at Alec.
I’m more confused than ever.
Alec touches the dimple in my forehead, the same way he did in the elevator that day. It’s a familiar gesture that sets me at ease.
“Neither one of us wants to you give up. And we don’t want to put you in a position to choose.” Alec exhales a heavy breath. The tension in the room cracks like a piece of an iceberg just fell into the sea.
“I’m not sure I understand.” My attention jumps between them.
“We know that you do.” Tage picks up my hand and places a kiss on the inside of my wrist. He’s being sweet. He’s being sensitive. He’s being very un-Tage like.
Alec then sits on the bed, and all my senses heighten to red alert. What’s happening here?
Alec presses a soft kiss on my neck, and my silent question is answered.
Holy shit.
“Are you two fucking around right now?” I could almost explode.
“We would never. Not about this. Not with you,” Tage declares resolutely as the emotional strain continuously applies pressure. I’m a joint ready to break.
Taking Alec’s hand, I slip his arm around my waist for support. Him I trust. As much as I want Tage, the past eight years weighs heavily on me. It’s my burden. I don’t know if I can withstand another one of his heartbreaks.
Alec tightens his hold, and Tage clearly sees our connection. There’s worry in his eyes. Those big, all-consuming, hazel eyes that I have dreamt about continuously for eight years. I missed them looking at me like that. Like I was as glorious as the entire galaxy.
“I don’t know if I can do it. Let you in again.” The words burn leaving my lips. I love this man, I always have, but my trust in him has diminished.
Tage nearly crushes my hand as he holds it with both of his. “Ever, I can’t live without you. And I don’t think you can live without either of us. Take a chance. One more, that’s all I’m asking. One last chance for me to make it right.”
I shake my head, unsure.
“You won’t be left with nothing,” Alec hums in my ear. It’s like he can read my mind. He’s uncovered my deepest fear and brought it to light. I turn my head to look back at him. “Promise me.” I want promises. I want guarantees. “Nothing” isn’t an option.
“I promise.” He doesn’t hesitate.
“I promise, too,” Tage adds gruffly.
My brain splits in two. The notion feels so farfetched I can barely comprehend it.
“Both of you?” The question is more rhetorical than anything. I can have them both? No choosing? No sacrifice? No heartache?
“Both of us,” Tage confirms.
“If that’s what you want,” Alec adds.
