Page 48 of Ache
“Life is too short to mull over bullshit. I know what I want, and I go for it.”
“This has the potential to get messy.”
“If we’re lucky.” Tage pops his eyebrows and smiles salaciously.
“That’s not what I meant.” I elbow him, but the prospect is inviting.
I imagine the scenario the whole way to Everly’s apartment building — two guys, one girl, lots and lots of orgasms. It isn’t a torturous thought.
Once in front of her door, both Tage and I prepare for a beat.
Getting dirty doesn’t bother me, but can I share the woman I love?
I’m sure as hell about to find out.
20
Everly
Ihug my pillow the same way I did as a child as the tears flow down my face. Not surprisingly, they dry faster than they did back then.
Barely anything has changed over the last eight years. I’m still alone. I’m still sad. I’m still isolated, except now, my emotions are hardened.
No matter how much I try to change my situation, it seems I’m cursed to repeat the past in one way or another.
I should be falling apart. I should be crumbling under the heartbreak, but I’m not. I’ve become way too good at saying goodbye. At dealing with heartache. Every time Tage walked out the door, it desensitized me a little more while killing me at the same time.
The pain was so severe I had to learn to smother it. The more I hurt, the less I would allow myself to cry. Until today.
The love I so desperately wanted just slipped through my fingers. Tage ruined everything, and yet, like a desperate, love-struck teenager, I’m hoping he comes back.
Foolishly, I want them both to come back.
I’m in love with them both and have no idea what to do about it.
Choose?
Impossible.
Sacrifice them both?
I can’t bring myself to imagine my life with one and not the other.
It almost doesn’t make sense. They both offer me something completely unique. Two primary colors that saturate my world with pigment when mixed together.
An emotional kaleidoscope that conquers my full attention. My entire existence.
Impossible positions. That’s what I’m constantly presented with, nothing but impossible positions.
For once in my goddamn life I just want things to be easy.
There’s a light knock on my bedroom door.
“Go away,” I grumble, not really meaning it at all.
“We both know that’s not what you want.” Tage enters with Alec right behind him. I pop my head up off the pillow confused, slightly elated, and completely terrified.
The two men swallow the small room, making it feel tinier than it already is.
