Page 55 of (Not) The One
‘More your arena than mine. Though I suppose the whole idea is the extrapolation of information based on assumptions. You look or sound a certain way, and you’re profiled, right?’
‘Who knows,’ Griff murmurs, looking down at the child once again, who thankfully has moved his attention to his plate. ‘Anyway, Montague isn’t a proper name,’ he adds. ‘So Mo it is. Now eat your chips like a good lad.’
‘Why isheso grumpy?’ the child asks after a beat. His gaze lifts to mine, surprising me. Am I grumpy? Could it be because I could see myself sipping cocktails with a particular someone? A blonde someone. A bold and intriguing someone.
The child’s skinny legs swing back and forth under his chair, thumping the leg of the table every now and again with the toes of his shoe. As it moves for the fifth time, I wince as it scrapes against the concrete. I’m not normally this short tempered, am I?
‘He’s grumpy because the positions of Sneezy and Doc were already taken.’ Griff smiles widely, tickled by his own wit.
‘Yes, but why is he wearing that angry face?’ he asks, a half masticated fried potato drooping from his open mouth before bouncing from the starched linen tablecloth and hitting the floor.
‘Do you think he would wear that face if he had another choice?’
‘Huh?’ The boy turns his head to the side like a terrier anticipating a knock on the door.
‘Harry’s expression is more querulous than angry,’ Griff replies, his exasperation growing. The man does love an audience, but it’s no fun if the audience doesn’t appreciate your humour. The lack of adulation is clearly killing him.
‘Only my friends call me Harry,’ I tell the child. ‘I’m not sure why your uncle thinks this courtesy extends to him.’
‘What does qu-querulous that mean?’
‘It means he looks like a constipated pensioner.’
‘Yes, but why?’
‘Just because. Because he’s a bastard,’ Griff replies, his exasperated tone deepening as he folds his arms across his chest. ‘And I know, I said a bad word. But you won’t tell your mum, will you? Because you’re out with the boys.’
‘It’s okay. I’ve heard it before. Mummy uses it to describe youallof the time.’
‘I think I’ve just discovered why I’m feeling irritable. It’s the company I currently keep.’
As opposed to the company I’d expected to wake to this morning. I had plans for Miranda, and they weren’t all of the bedroom kind. Some were the showering kind, and some were the naked lazy breakfast in bed kind. But mostly, they were the get to the bottom of what’s going on in her life kind. The get to know her better kind.
‘Look, Rosa caught me on the hop. The nanny didn’t turn up, and I couldn’t say no. It’s only supposed to be for an hour.’
‘And that’s my problem, how?’
‘You know what they say; a friend in need is a friend indeed.’ Griff’s reply is accompanied by a smirk, roughly translating to—his sister needed a babysitter and despite him being the kind of person most wouldn’t leave their goldfish with, she’d dropped off her darling boy without a second thought. And because he didn’t want to look after the kid alone, he brought him along to Motcombs.
‘A friend in need is a pain in the arse, more like.’ Hell, you’re not supposed to swear in front of kids, are you? I know his uncle has, but I’m pretty sure it’s frowned upon. Not that I have much to do with children generally.
‘Monty, why don’t you go and get yourself an ice cream?’ Before you learn a whole new vocabulary to take home to your mummy.
‘I’m not ’posed to take money from strangers.’ The kid stares the ten pound note I hold out in front of him, eyeing it covetously.
‘He’s not a stranger,’ Griff interjects. ‘He’s Uncle Harry. He knows your mum. In fact, he knows your mum reallyreallywell. He might easily have been your—’
‘Enough.’ I don’t often lose my temper, but when I do, it’s often the result of something Griff has said or done. Whichever laboratory he was created in seemed to have forgotten to add any tact in his genetic makeup. Usually, the inclusion of Beckett smooths tempers things between us. The fact that he’s a no-show today is annoying on a couple of fronts but mostly because I wanted to pick his brain. But it’s inevitable, I suppose. Who’d want to hang out with other men when there’s the option to be with the woman you love? Naked? Fully clothed? Still, it’s damned bad timing. ‘Take the money,’ I insist. ‘Go and buy yourself an ice cream.’
‘Can I have a Coke, too?’ He narrows his eyes in an uncanny echo of Rosa, his mother. He has her dark curls, too. But he has nothing of me, even if I do have carnal knowledge of her. Knowledge gained many, many years ago, I hasten to add.
‘If your mother would allow you, I don’t see why not.’
‘She doesn’t,’ he says, suddenly snatching the note from my hand. ‘But Uncle Griff does, and he’s in charge.’ He runs off.
‘In charge of what?’ I mutter to myself as my gaze cuts to Griff. ‘If you ever insinuate anything like that again, I’ll fucking end you.’ For Christ’s sake, it was through his sister that Griff and I met over a decade ago.
‘Chill out. As if you’d have any little bastards running around the place.’
