Page 56 of (Not) The One
‘Andwhatexactly is that supposed to mean?’
‘A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults, my friend.’
‘Oh, do fuck off,’ I drawl in contrast to my building ire. ‘There was nothing graceful in that statement.’
‘You’re the most controlled man I know. Just like Beckett, you don’t do anything without an angle. Confirmed bachelors, the pair of you. At least until he went and got married.’
‘That, opposed to you, the man who’ll fuck anything with a pulse?’
‘They all need a little loving,’ he answers with a smirk. ‘Even the ugly ones.’
‘Somewhere out there in the big wide world, there’s a tree working very hard to replace the oxygen you consume. If I were you, I’d go and find it and apologise.’
‘I speak the truth.’
‘You speak a load of bollocks, but let’s not talk about what’s between your ears.’
‘Shots fired,’ he says with a chuckle. ‘I’m just saying the kid isn’t yours. He has a dad, a useless trustafarian fuckwit, but Mo is his. He held his hands up to knocking Rosa up after you’d broken her heart the year before. And he married her, though I might’ve had to threaten to break his legs.’
‘Charming. I’m sure it never crosses Rosa’s mind to wish your mother had swallowed you.’
‘You don’t have siblings, so don’t try to lecture me, all right?’ Griff picks up his drink, his tone aggrieved.
‘I thought Rosa’s husband was in the film industry?’ I’d met her at another gallery just after she got married. I’m sure that’s what she says he did. She’s such a type A personality, I really can’t see her with someone aimless.
Griff snorts before taking a mouthful from his beer. ‘He doesn’t work. He’s just a pretentious wanker who takes himself off to Ibiza and Morocco at regular intervals to write and find himself. He thinks smoking masses of pot makes him enlightened.’
‘As fascinating as all this is, I still don’t understand what we’re doing here.’ Sitting straighter in my chair, I fold back the cuffs of my shirt.
‘Isn’t it obvious? We’re babysitting.’
‘In taking on your friendship, I’ve done some strange things. Been subjected to some strange things—’
‘What? Name one strange thing I’m responsible for.’
‘Two years ago, you decided it was my birthday.’
‘That’s a nice thing,’ he protests, trying hard not to smile. ‘You can’t complain about that. And everyone has a birthday once a year.’
‘The key is in the word day. Birthday, not a whole year.’ Everywhere I went, I was serenaded and wished many happy returns. I was given free desserts—shots on the house. People wishing me happy birthday everywhere I went.
‘Come on, everyone likes free shit. Even a rich bastard like you.’
‘I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but I prefer not to be gawked at.’
‘Then you shouldn’t date women above your punching weight.’
‘Like?’He knows Miranda?The immediate thought is accompanied by a cramping in my gut.How well does he know her, and will I need to arrange to break his legs?
‘That Giselle woman. She’s a sort.’
Fuck, my relief is palpable. ‘Giselle is business.’
‘That’s the kind of business I’d like todo, if you know what I mean.’
‘You’ve got more chance of becoming lord chief justice than getting a date with Giselle.’
‘I don’t want to date her, Harry.’
