Page 44 of In Her Own Way
Daddy Vic:I posted something in the group about infidelity. I had an inkling that the woman I was meeting every week had a significant other, but I let our liaisons continue. For some reason, I CHOSE not to ask her about it. Why did I do that? I think some part of my brain malfunctions when it comes to this kind of thing. I think it may be part of thereason I misstepped so majorly back home. Brain fog?
There was one more message from Daddy Vic, but Jessica had to answer the second one right away. She dove in. She ignored the first message, though. She had goofed and used a group member’s real name. She wasn’t usually that sloppy.
Juicy_Babe:It’s heartening to see that you’re recognizing some destructive (not sure this is the best word here) behavior. I’m not judging. Listen, I don’t ask my temporary Dommes if they have a partner at home. I don’t ask if they’re stepping out on someone. We get that willful brain fog sometimes. You know, like, when you’re about to get what you want? You can’t think clearly or something. The Domme of my dreams shows up, and I’m supposed to ask if she’s married? Kind of kills the mood, right? Maybe it’s a selfish thing?!? Again, not accusing and certainly not judging.
She found herself wanting to defend Daddy Vic’s actions, but if Daddy Vic knew the woman had a partner, then maybe she shouldn’t be excused.
Juicy_Babe:Again, I’m not your judge. You are your own judge. One of my many mentors told me that I would make mistakes (in my new career). She said it was natural to make mistakes; we’re human. But then she said if I didn’t learn from those mistakes, that compounded things. She told me to fess up and fix it. So, what are you learning about your recent “brain fogs”? (I don’t mean to sound like a therapist. Believe me, I am not one.)
She decided not to beat that first post to death and read the last one. Her heart dropped when she read the first line. This woman was really doing some heavy introspection. Jessica wondered if she’d have to maybe politely suggest therapy of some kind.
Daddy Vic:Do you think Dr. Victor Frankenstein knew he was the villain? If I remember the book correctly, he finally had the OMG epiphany moment when he looked back on everything he’d done. I think maybe that’s where I am. Looking back, seeing things more clearly, and saying, ‘Holy shit, I did those things. WTF?’
Juicy_Babe:Dr. Frankenstein didn’t intentionally start out as a villain. He was driven by pride, and his obvious desire to flick his nose at death. He seriously thought he was doing something good, but then he avoided responsibility for his actions. I think that’s when he became the villain.
Juicy_Babe:I don’t, in any way, shape, or form, think you could ever be a villain. I don’t know what you’ve done, of course. But, unlike Dr. Frankenstein, I think you’re aware of the hurt your actions caused. And it sounds like you are accepting responsibility. At least it sounds that way to me.
Jessica left her responses at that and closed her tablet. Daddy Vic was a tortured soul, and Jessica’s heart went out to her. It was really hard to imagine that the woman had done something nefarious to someone. She even broke it off with that cheating woman and then tried to help her find ways to communicate with her partner. Does a villain do that? Absolutely not.
“She’s processing her actions,” Jessica said to the cat. “Owning up to her mistakes. Maybe. I don’t know.”
I don’t know much about her, but I do know she is unattainable.Jessica thought.They had great communication, but Jessica absolutely did not want an online relationship. She didn’t want anything long-distance. She wanted someone who would warm her bed. At this point, she’d even take a vanilla woman as long as the woman was open to some exploration. There was no way Jessica could deny her submissive nature and her kinky tastes. So, yeah, maybe vanilla was not the way to go.
Her phone was in her hand, and a text was being typed before she knew what she was doing.
Jessica Bennett: Hi, Miss Marta. Thank you for including me in Shanice’s amazing milestone. I feel so honored to have witnessed that. I hope you two are very happy together. I know you’re not available, Ma’am. But do you maybe know anyone who is? I live in Denton Heights now (as I think I told you), and I don’t know anyone. Well, thanks for listening. I hope you are both well.
She sent it knowing it sounded desperate. Disgusted with herself, she threw her phone to the other side of the couch. And then instant remorse hit her. “Shit.” She reached for her phone, the cat diving off her lap. “How the fuck do you erase a text?” She shouldn’t have sent that. “Dammit, I’m an ass.”
She pulled up an internet browser on her phone and was just about to ask it how to delete a sent text when the phone rang in her hand.
“Oh, shit,” Jessica said. “Shit, shit, shit.”
She answered it. She had to.
“Hi, Miss Marta,” Jessica said, making her voice sound cheery, although she wasn’t at all cheery.
“Hey,” Miss Marta said. “Got your message. I don’t know of anyone specifically, but I needed to call you anyway. Do you remember Rowena?” There was a muffled sound, and then Jessica heard Miss Marta say, “I’m telling her, baby. Hang on.”
“Sorry,” Miss Marta said. “Some people are impatient around here.”
Jessica laughed. Shanice must be acting up or something. “Yes, I remember Mistress Rowena and her sub Minjung.”
“Right, right. Rowena is having a big bash for her birthday on Sunday, and she asked me to invite you.”
“Wait, what?” Jessica didn’t understand. She’d only talked to the woman twice.
“She’s big on community. She’s taking over the Denton Heights BDSM Women’s Board in January, and I think she’s trying to schmooze the community before she takes over.” The phone was muffled again, and Miss Marta said to Shanice, “What? That’s part of her motivation. Yes, of course. It’s her birthday, and it’s also Halloween. I know. I’ll tell her.”
Jessica laughed into the phone. Those two were so amusing, and Miss Marta sounded so happy.
“Sorry again, Shanice wants me to tell you that it’s also Halloween, and Rowena and Minjung are having a haunted house thing for thelittles. Yes, yes, I’ll tell her. Shanice says thatbigscan go in the haunted house, too.”
“I, uh—” Jessica stammered. She was about to decline, but then remembered what she’d told Daddy Vic about making your needs known to the universe. Apparently, the universe was trying to come through for her. Again. “Okay, I’d love to go.”
Miss Marta gave her the address, discussed protocols like no phones or recording devices, and the dress code. She made sure Jessica understood that it was a BDSM community event and that people would be acting accordingly. Shanice managed to wrestle the phone from Miss Marta and said, “It’s going tobe so much fun, Miss Jessica. I hope you’ll come. Madison also said you should come. She said you were all alone and in need of kinship. That was the word she used, ‘kinship.’”
“Wow, I think she’s pretty insightful, isn’t she? I just moved here.”
