Page 43 of In Her Own Way
Daddy_Vic:Sorry for the melodrama. I usually hold things closer to the vest, too close probably, but you’re easy to talk to. So, just ignore me if it’s too much.
Jessica’s heart was positively breaking for this woman who’d only recently shown up in her group onKinks. The messages were sent Sunday night. It was now Monday, early evening, so Jessica didn’t wait a moment longer and wrote back.
Juicy_Babe:Hey, DC. It’s NOT too much. You’re hurting. That’s obvious. I’m a good listener. I have to be in my line of work. So even though you don’t want to pull me into your “drama” (as you called it), I’m ready to listen. I may not be much help, but sometimes just organizing your thoughts to tell someone else helps bring clarity. I’m a safe space (also required in my career), and no one else will ever hear or find out anything you say to me.
Juicy_Babe:I feel like I’m a little bit in the dark, though. If I knew more about why you had to leave your previous place, I might be able to help you. I admit that I’m curious about what happened,but not “chomping at the bit” for gossip kind of curious. That event or events have somehow scarred you. You seem to think you’re the villain in that narrative (not saying the other person/people are the villains), but the person I see interacting here in theSapphic D/sgroup is kind, thoughtful, and intelligent. (I’m sure there are more adjectives I could use, but you get the gist.) Even Lisa said you were a breath of fresh air. So, share what you feel you can share or simply vent. Either way. I’ll listen.
Juicy_Babe:Also, I have great news on the project front. I asked people for help (like you suggested) and now have a workshop in a couple of weeks (paid, mind you. Yay) that will help me get a grip on this thing. AND!! Someone voluntarily volunteered to help before I even knew she was a person I could ask. I think the act of asking people to help me (all of the others said no, btw) nudged the universe, and it sent me someone who will add a lot to the project. So, maybe you could also ask the universe for help. Just a thought. Oh, and that line about glue stick? I laughed my ass off. You are so funny.
“And, yeesh, that’s enough from me for now,” Jessica said, appalled at the length of her three messages back to Daddy Vic. She reheated her now-cold dinner and opened the website for the “School Publications Workshop” in Columbus. It was sponsored by a yearbook company, which hosted sessions on yearbook production, school newspapers, literary magazines, and other school publications.
The sessions would help her figure out what type of magazine: print, digital, or both. She was leaning toward digital-only, but having something tangible in their hands would berewarding for the students whose work would be included. Ahh, yes, they would also go over how to draft clear, simple submission guidelines. “Oh, shoot,” Jessica said out loud. “Do we have to sell this thing?” There was a session about actively marketing the magazine for sale to students, parents, and faculty. “That is a question I will need to ask Marjorie.” She reached over to the side table, opened the small drawer, and pulled out a pad of paper. She wrote down questions to ask during the workshop and to ask her department chair.
“This is a lot to think about,” she muttered. “Too much for me right now.” She closed the tablet, tossed the pad of paper aside, and headed to the kitchen with her dirty dishes.
She remained restless after washing the dishes and packing up lunch for school the next day.
“Fine,” she said to the living room. She put on comfy sneakers and loaded up one of her dancing exercise videos on YouTube. She’d move her body for twenty minutes, maybe more, probably not.
As she danced with the instructor on the screen, she knew exactly why she was restless. Daddy Vic seemed so lost. She’d even said so. Jessica refused to let her brain imagine the awful things that could have happened between Daddy Vic and her former sub. That was melodrama, and Jessica was having none of that. “Why is it human nature to assume the worst?”
She had no answer for herself, and when the twenty minutes were up, she stopped the video and went in for a long soaking shower. As the warm water cascaded over her body, she thought about Mistress Marta and all those friends of hers. “I need friends,” Jessica said out loud. She should text or call Miss Marta. But those people weren’t her friends, and she felt weird barging in on that. Maybe she’d try her luck at Dominique’s this weekend. Or maybe not. She was too busy for a personal life, what with school, the literary magazine, and all of it. Oh, right,and now she was a girls’ sports chaperone. That was going to take up a lot of time, right? Two hours at least, KC had told her. See? Even Misty’s dinner was going to be late.
Feeling almost as lost as Daddy Vic, she finished her shower, put on a terry cloth robe, and wrapped her hair in a towel. She’d dry it in a bit. But for now, she had the overwhelming urge to see if Daddy Vic had responded.
She threw on some socks and the comfy slippers her mother had given her for Christmas and then flew to the couch. “C’mon,” she said to Misty, who was probably thinking, “Finally.”
Once the cat was settled, Jessica tried to settle herself. She couldn’t. She was on edge. She opened theKinksapp. Ooh, a new topic. Daddy Vic was at it again. She savored the fact that messages were waiting for her, so she tortured herself by ignoring them while checking out the new posts.
Topic:Infidelity
Question:Why do people cheat?
Daddy Vic:I posted this, so I’ll respond right away. This woman I was seeing briefly didn’t tell me she had a life partner at first. After our third meeting, she fessed up and told me that her partner wasn’t open to sexual exploration, so she’d gone elsewhere to find it (a local dungeon). And that’s where she found me.
Rachels_Toy:Cheating sends the message that the partner is no longer desirable and that they have to go elsewhere to find fulfillment.
Rachels_Toy:But WHY do people cheat? Some just aren’t satisfied at home anymore. They want some kind of emotional connection with someone. Maybe to just feel alive again in a stagnant relationship?(I’m not speaking about my own relationship. I just had a local friend go through something like that with his husband. They are no longer together).
Knees Now:Maybe they looked themselves in the mirror and said, “This is marriage? It’s going to be like this until I die?” And instead of disrupting the family or partnership, they try to find fulfillment elsewhere, hoping that if they can blow off steam or feel something, they can keep the marriage together. (And I am speaking about myself. The affair I had didn’t last. But the divorce did.)
lesbo_submisso:When someone steps out, it’s just because they want more attention.
Curl_My_Toes:I needed to feel like someone loved me.
Daddy Vic:I think this particular woman was lonely and simply looking for intimacy. (Not that infidelity is simple). I gave her ideas on how to communicate her needs to her partner. I’ll never know what happens, I guess. But at least I’m not causing any more damage.
Jessica was impressed by the soulful sharing from the group members. It was also nice to see that a few of the reticent women also posted. And the honesty. Wow. This was exactly the kind of thing she had wanted when she created the group. She added her own comment.
Juicy_Babe:Cheating can happen for any number of reasons. The word itself implies dishonesty, though, right? So perhaps a cheater wants to havetheir cake and eat it, too? Or perhaps they didn’t know how to communicate with the person(s) they cheated on.
When she wrote the last sentence of her topic post, Jessica was thinking about the woman Daddy Vic spoke about. The woman and her partner seemed to have disparate levels of desire. Hopefully, they’d be able to communicate about it, because communication was key in every relationship.
She checked a few other new posts, and they were all fine. Nothing inappropriate. She also screened another new applicant to the group. A woman namedYes_Ma’am. Her homepage was kind of sparse, and could be a red flag, but maybe she was new toKinksand still finding her way. Her avatar was a pair of handcuffs. Jessica had no reasonnotto grant her entry into the group, so she approved the application. Hopefully, she would be a good new member. All that mattered was that everyone was polite and played nice.
Jessica took a breath, got up for a seltzer water, and felt ready to check Daddy Vic’s messages. She clicked on the message folder.
Daddy Vic: Hi, JB. DC (Daddy Clueless here). Who’s Lisa? (You mentioned a Lisa in one of your last messages).
