Page 46 of Friends That Heal Us
Ezra has always been there for me. Even now, he’s here when he’s also going through so much—always consoling me and making sure I’m okay. And all this time he was silently hurting without us knowing. It makes me sad to think he had to go through it alone. I at least have him. What friends werewe to him if we didn’t see him hurting? Rya and Zayn are out of the question with that. But me? How did I not see it? Am I that fucking blind? I didn’t see it when we were seniors. Well, I thought I did, but stupid Rya influenced me in the wrong direction. Has she always been a blinder to me, where I can’t see anything for myself? Fuck, how sad is that if that’s true.
I felt like calling Ashley and asking her if these feelings are normal. But she’s a busy person, and I don’t want to bug her out of nowhere for her to explain my poor feelings to me.
I’m walking outside a strip mall looking for stuff to buy myself, unsure of what I’m going to get. I thought whatever I saw would speak to me. Following Ashley’s advice, I took myself out shopping. I haven’t been in a while and today felt like a good day to go. And it’s a nice day; it’s not too hot or too cold. The birds are chirping in the distance. The days are getting cooler. We can finally step outside and not have the sun burn our skin in a matter of seconds. I love this time of year—when the mornings are crisp and the day is cool.
Even though I feel so drained, there is some sort of ease running through my body. I’m not sure if it’s because of the nice day or all the truth that has finally come out.
After a couple of hours of shopping, I head for my car and call it a day. I bought new pajamas, skincare, and body care. I think if the whole routine Ashley did helped her, it might help me.
I halt my steps as I pass an empty building. I look over my shoulder and see two empty glass display cases. I squint harder as I look through the windows. Tables and chairs are piled up against the walls. Empty chalkboard menus hang tall against the back walls. There is an ‘order here’ on one side of the display cases and a ‘pickup here’ on the other side. I take a few steps back and look up above the front door. Black bold letters say Divine Bakes. I squint my eyes looking back inside, confused why I’ve never heard of this place before. It looks like it’s beenclosed for some time now. It must have been a bakery at one point. Now dust is building up. I turn back around and look at my surroundings. So many people are walking around the strip mall, going from one store to the next, and I don’t see many food places.
I’ve never entertained the thought of opening a bakery. It only came to mind when Haley and Zayn would bring it up. Haley said that her husband helps small businesses. I huff at myself. Like she’s going to want to help me now after that whole mess. I haven’t even received any orders from her. I used to get at least one a month from her. She was my best customer. Not only that, but she would hype me up so much. Every time I doubted myself, one of her orders would come in and my doubt would disappear. I didn’t know her well, but something about her encouraging words always kept me going.
I take down the realtor’s number. It won’t hurt to call and at least see what’s going on with the place.
After getting all my bags in the car, my phone buzzes. My stomach swirls with butterflies once I see “Mom” on my screen. I haven’t talked to her yet or told her anything. Part of me didn’t want to ruin their vacation.
“Hi, Mom,” I say as I get myself seated in the car.
“Hi, honey.” The sound of her voice seems off.
“What’s going on?”
I hear whispering in the background. No doubt that’s my dad. Am I on speaker?
“Oh nothing. Your dad and I decided to end our night a little early. We’re here in our Airbnb settling in and thought we would call you since we haven’t heard from you in a while. How is everything going?”
Now I know for sure I’m on speaker. “Hi, Dad,” I say, still trying to understand the concerned voice on the other line. Usually, my mom’s voice is full of excitement. She and my dadjump from place to place. Something they’ve been saving up for when they retire.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Where are you now?”
“Spain,” they both say.
Oh, how nice it would be to run away out of the country. Far away from here.
“Nice. How is it over there?”
“Oh, it’s beautiful, you and Zayn—” He cuts himself off and then I hear whispering.
My heart drops even further into this hollow hole that Zayn and Rya have dug nicely for me. They know something. Did he call them?
“What are you two not saying?”
My mom clears her throat. “Well, we got an upsetting phone call from Zayn yesterday.”
My head falls back against the seat. What now? What more can he do?
I let out a heavy sigh, lifting my head back up. “And?” I ask.
“Umm, well, he told us some disturbing…” She pauses.
“Mom, just say it.”
“He told us you and Ezra are sleeping together.”
I stay silent on the phone, not knowing what to say. My head falls back against the seat. I exhale a shaky breath. Another fucking blow. My chest tightens, pressing down until it’s hard to breathe. How much more is there? How much more can I take? Every time I think I’ve reached the end, he does something else.
