Page 30 of The Fall of Iris Henley

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Has she always felt that way? Has she, and everyone else, been wondering all this time: What if Iris did it?

I roll over onto my side and pick up my phone. My fingertip hovers over Sekrit for a moment. But I already know everythingthat app has to tell me about what people think of me. Instead, I open up my messages.

Jonah texted me about ten minutes ago. He’s sent another photo, this one a slightly blurry shot of him grinning with an ice cream cone.

JONAH

Got strawberry because it made me think of you.

That sends a little glow of warmth through my stomach—the first good feeling all day. He used to tease me at camp because I got the same strawberry yogurt bar every day for dessert.

ME

That looks like chocolate.

He replies almost right away.

JONAH

Well, yeah, I put chocolate syrup on it because I don’t hate myself. Who gets just strawberry?

ME

Someone who needs to stay light enough to be thrown in the air a few dozen times a week. But I’m starting to think you’re right that it requires a little bit of self-hatred too.

JONAH

Whoa

I didn’t mean to touch a wound. You ok?

I start typing “yeah” but then I delete it.

ME

Not really. Having a hard week I guess.

JONAH

Anything you want to talk about?

Yes. But no. But yes.I still don’t want to tell him about the things going on online. I still want to keep this relationship sweet and innocent and uncomplicated. But the problem is that it’s increasingly obvious my life isn’t sweet or innocent or uncomplicated.

ME

It’s around the one year anniversary of when Lynette and I stopped being friends. I guess she’s been on my mind more than usual lately.

JONAH

That must be hard.

ME

I feel like my brain is holding me hostage sometimes. Every time I think I’m ready to get over it and move on, more memories start coming up.

JONAH

More memories? Like what?

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