Page 31 of The Fall of Iris Henley
ME
Random stuff. We were friends for a really long time and we went through a lot together. IDK, lately I’ve been thinking about when she got kicked off the team. How she just didn’t even want to talk to any of us after that,even though some of us still tried to be friends with her. She chose being a pariah over being friends with us.
Sorry for the brick of text, I am just sad tonight
JONAH
Don’t apologize. I don’t ever mind when you share things.
JONAH
Did she ever say why she didn’t want to be friends? Or say anything to make you realize?
No.No, but if I am honest with myself, absolutely honest… I know why. I bite my lip. Then I make my decision.
ME
She never said. But I know why.
I haven’t told anyone this
I accidentally got her kicked off the team and I think she knew or maybe just suspected.
I watch the screen for his response, my nerves on fire. It almost comes as a surprise, how nervous I am. When I think about Lynette being kicked off the team I usually focus on the fallout—the end of our friendship, her cheating with Rocky, the violent end.
I don’t like to think about the role I played in it.
It’s a few minutes before he replies, and I feel every second of them.
JONAH
oh wow
how exactly did you get her kicked off?
ME
I sent an anonymous note to the coach that Lynette was using
JONAH
Why??
I fight a flare of irritation. Everyone seems to be judging me today. First Hayden, now Jonah.
ME
IDK
I didn’t mean for her to get kicked off. I thought it’d force her to get some help.
She was spiraling. All summer long she was moody and rude and barely showed up for practice, and we counted on her! She was top girl. She was supposed to be the best of us and she was a mess.
I suddenly realize my breathing has gotten fast. I close my eyes, try to calm down. It was true, I tell myself. Lynette had needed help. Maybe I hadn’t done a good job of getting it for her—but how was I supposed to know what to do? I was sixteen. I’d trusted Gloria to do what was best for all of us.
But that does nothing to still that little kernel of doubt in the corner of my mind—the voice that says,Sure, but you also wanted her spot, didn’t you? With her gone, you were top girl. With her gone, you were the best.
JONAH
