Page 10 of Karma's Sense
“What about that police officer?” Beth asked. She was our designated diva and wasn’t drinking tonight. “He asked you on a date.”
Carol sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah, and I can’t deny he was hot. But there was no draw, nothing making me want to know more about him.”
“Sometimes you just have to take a chance,” I encouraged. “Go on a date with him, maybe once you have a conversation that buzz or whatever it is will be there.”
She rolled her eyes. “Deva. I’m forty-seven. I’ve never been married. I’ve never had kids. What in the world do I know about starting to date now? Besides I'm good the way I am. Just me and my plants and knitting.”
Beth scoffed. “You’ll be more attractive to single men. No baggage.”
Carol grumbled under her breath. Beth and I both knew it was a waste of time, after all this wasn't the first time we'd tried to convince her to go on a date or put herself out there. It never worked though, and I think if we were honest, neither of us expected it to work this time either.
As though the conversation needed to shift away from Carol's love life they both turned toward me, eyeing me cautiously. “This thing with Harry…” Beth said. “It’s getting bad?”
For a moment the emotions rushed through me. They were so turbulent they could have been a Nor'easter or even a hurricane. Anger, sadness, grief, frustration, betrayal. I had loved Harry when we got married. I'd even loved him while we had the kids, but ever since they left it just felt like a spotlight was shining on everything that was wrong with our marriage. The longer I tried to ignore it the worse it got.
Before I knew it I had to swipe a tear away. I wasn't sure when I'd made the decision to talk to Harry, but I knew I had to. Today was the last straw. He'd all but spat in the face of my dreams. He'd shown me in every way he could that he didn't care about me anymore, and my mama had raised me better than to let a man treat me like a doormat.
“If it goes as south as I expect, can I stay with one of you?” I asked.
“Of course,” they said in unison.
“You’ll stay with me,” Carol said. “I have a guest room and that big ol' apartment to myself. You just have to put up with the plants.”
Beth shrugged. “I have a smaller place but you’re still welcome.”
I rubbed my hands over my face. Guilt swamped me as I thought about my girls. “What about my kids?”
“Honey, they don’t live at home anymore. If you move out and leave Harry the house, they’ll be able to stay there when they come to town or when you get your own place you can make sure it has a guest room.” Beth patted my hand. “It’s a lot easier to do this now that they’re grown than it would’ve been before.”
At least that much was true. I wasn't even sure if they had picked up on how bad things were between me and Harry, but I had a feeling they were going to find out pretty soon. But I felt like I had a plan of attack now, which, honestly, was a relief.
I brightened up. “Maybe Emma will finally leave her inconsiderate jerk of a husband and we can team up. We’d be like a group of awesome women… the Midlife Mavens... or something.” We all dissolved into laughter at the idea that any of us were experts at anything. I swear sometimes I still felt like I had to look for the adult in the room. Once I had control of my laughter I added, “We’ll think of a better name.”
“I know what's going on with Harry is hard, but we have the loves of our lives,” Carol said, smiling at me then at Beth. “We have the love of each other, and no matter what, we’ll never lose that. We are a family, albeit a strange one.”
“Yes,” Beth agreed. “The strangest.”
“Nothing wrong with that. If we could just get Emma back to Mystic Hollow and away from Rick,” I added. “Then it’ll all make sense again.”
Having Emma living hours away always felt like part of our puzzle was missing. I hoped that she got the same clarity with Rick as I had with Harry. It wasn't that I wished that kind of painful realization on anyone, but I wanted my best friends living their best lives and being overwhelmingly happy, and I knew Emma wasn't, at least not right now. If I was going to fight for my own happiness, whether that included Harry or not, then I would fight for Emma, Carol, and Beth to each find theirs as well. Whether we ended up being midlife mavens or not, we'd always have each other and that was enough for me.
My eyes opened,and I felt tears rolling down my face. Wiping them away, I released a slow breath. It was strange, remembering those lonely days, but also remembering how my friends were at my side, even then. Yet what surprised me the most was Marquis. Even years ago, he’d been there for me. A silent, steady figure.
How was it that I didn’t notice him?
I looked at the pink fudge sitting on the table in front of me. Maybe I didn’t need a spell to make things happen between Marquis and I. Maybe I just needed to stop being a scaredy cat and really go for it. Really be vulnerable with him.
But magic certainly couldn’t hurt.
So, I grabbed the piece of fudge and started chewing, thinking of Marquis, thinking of Valentine’s Day, just a few months away. Could love, real love, actually find me by then?
I didn’t know. But for the first time in a long time, I felt hope. I felt ready for something more, something deeper. A pink heart suddenly formed in the air in front of me, wavering like it was made of smoke, then disappearing in a cloud of pink that smelled like cupcakes.
And as I brushed the tears from my cheeks, I actually smiled. Love… was coming for me, and at last, I was ready for it.
