Page 42 of Inseparable
I think I’d lost sight of that these past few weeks, allowing my anger and hurt to conceal the truth of the situation. Devin hasn’t treated me right for months, and I allowed him to treat me badly, to walk all over me like a piece of crap.
That ends right now, and the acknowledgment feels good.
Ayden cherishes me, and he makes me feel special and wanted, and although it’s risky, I just know if things don’t work out between us he’ll always be my friend. I’m taking control of my life and forging a new direction, and it feels great. “I didn’t realize it until now, but I’ve been waiting for you. I want this with you. Nothing would make me happier.”
The biggest grin splashes across his face before he lowers his mouth to mine, kissing me again. I inwardly swoon. His kisses are hot and sweet and I’m tingly all over. I can’t keep the happy smile off my face when he finally breaks apart. “I could kiss you all night long, Lina, but I meant what I said about pacing ourselves. There’s no need to rush into anything.”
And I appreciate that, because it’s one thing to kiss Ayden and agree to be his girlfriend, but thinking about having sex with him, about giving him my virginity, is a whole other minefield I need to work through. I kiss the back of his hand. “I agree, and I’m happy to take things slow.”
He leans in one final time, pecking my lips briefly. “Goodnight, babe. Sleep tight.”
I watch him trek across the gap between our houses, swinging his body over the fence and into his yard. My fingers trace my swollen lips, and I can’t stop smiling. I wave as he blows me a kiss before stepping inside his house.
As I turn to enter my house, my gaze lands on the person watching from the house next door. Devin is leaning against the front of his truck, staring straight at me. It’s too dark to decipher his expression, and I’m glad I can’t tell what mood he’s in, because Devin has ruined too many precious moments recently.
And he’s not ruining this special night.
I meant what I just said to myself.
Devin has treated me poorly for the last time.
He’s not going to ruin this for me.
I won’t let him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ayden and I spend the whole day together Sunday, and when he kisses me goodnight at my door, I think my heart might burst with sheer happiness. “Someone’s in love,” Mom croons when I step into the kitchen.
I can’t keep the dreamy smile off my face as I open the refrigerator, removing the carton of juice. “He makes me really happy.”
She brushes my hair aside, kissing my temple. “I’m glad to see a smile back on your face. You had me worried there for a while, kiddo.”
I pour a glass of cranberry juice and turn to face my mother. “You know what you said before, about loving two people at once, do you really believe that?”
She looks quietly contemplative. “I do, although it’s never happened to me, but I believe the heart has huge capacity for love, and the inner workings of a woman’s heart is a beautiful, precious, complex thing. Look how easy it is to love a sibling, a parent, and a lover at the same time in different ways? Who says you can’t have romantic feelings for more than one person at a time? And if you do, who is to say it’s wrong? All you should worry about is being true to yourself and treating those you love right.”
It always amazes me how open my mother is to the notion of love when her own experiences haven’t been good.
“Is it wrong for me to be with Ayd when I think I’ll always love Dev?”
“You need to follow your heart, sweetie. What is your heart telling you now?”
“That I want to give this thing with Ayden a try. I don’t think I ever really considered him before, but now it feels right.”
“Then that’s all that matters. You are with him for the right reasons, and you know he has a good heart, and I don’t have to worry about him treating you right because he already does.”
I try to keep Mom’s words close to my heart the next morning at school as Ayden and I walk hand in hand to my locker, reminding myself that I haven’t done anything wrong. Our hand holding isn’t unusual, and no one bats an eye. However, when he stops to kiss me on the lips outside the classroom door, sounds of shocked gasps and whispered words surround us, and I know I’ll be subject of gossip again today.
Ignoring the slack jaws and wide eyes, I drop into my seat, removing my books from my bag. Mariah angles her chair back, sending me a toothy grin. “I’m so happy for you guys.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
“Perhaps you’re not quite as virginal as you like to make out,” Alicia, one of Becky’s minions, coos, leaning on my desk, and putting her face all up in mine. “You’re really a sneaky little slut, aren’t you? Stringing both those boys along.” She tut-tuts. “Now your cover’s blown, it’s going to be open season.”
A few titters ring out, and she slides into a seat across from me with a smug look on her face.
“I’m not surprised you’re an expert on sluts considering you’re such overused merchandise. That was you blowing Michael Chavis in the chem lab the last Friday before Christmas break, wasn’t it?” I tap a finger off my chin, pretending to think about it. “Or was it Nick Farmer? Oh, my bad, he was the Wednesday.”
