Page 41 of Inseparable
“A little,” he admits, propping his elbows on the table. “Grandpa died six years ago, but it feels as if it was only yesterday, and it was a shock.”
“You believe it?”
He considers my question for a long time. I slurp on my Oreo shake, waiting for him to reply. Slowly, he looks me in the eyes, and nods. “He knew too much for it not to be true.”
Inside, I’m a giddy mass of excitement. You’d swear someone had come through for me, but, after my melancholy last night and today, it seems like validation, that I haven’t wasted years believing in a load of nonsense. I take another slurp of my drink. I think of what the psychic said. “Is something troubling you? Because you know you can talk to me about anything.”
He digs his fingernails into his thigh. “I know that, and I would if it was anything serious.”
My eyes scan his face, and I know he’s lying, but I’m not going to push if he isn’t ready to tell me. “Okay, well I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
Things return to normal after that, and whatever tension I imagined seems to have disappeared.
Back at the house, Ayden helps me out of the Jeep, his hands lingering on my waist. His cheeks are flushed and red from the cold, and he’s gone all quiet on me again. We walk hand in hand to my front door. “Thanks for taking me tonight.” I peck him on the cheek. “It was mucho interesting.”
“You can say that again.” He grins, stepping away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lina.”
“Night, Ayd.”
I’ve only put one foot through the door, when his hands land on my waist and I’m spun around. I haven’t even a second to catch my breath before his mouth descends on mine and his fingers wind through my hair. His lips are soft but cold as they mold against mine, his kiss tender yet urgent. My arms encircle his neck, and he pulls me closer, holding me firmly in place as he angles his head and deepens the kiss.
Oh. My. God. Ayden’s kissing me.
And I’m kissing him back.
And it feels… good.
My hold on his neck intensifies, and I kiss him harder, parting my lips and letting his tongue enter my mouth. Ayden moans, and his kiss turns greedy as his lips worship mine. Our bodies are pressed together, and we’re kissing frantically, like we won’t ever get to do it again. He fists my hair in his hands, groaning as his tongue ravishes my mouth. I’m hot underneath my coat and sweater, and there are too many layers between us. I want to run my fingers over his skin, to feel his heart thudding under my hand.
He breaks the kiss, abruptly, keeping a firm hold on me as he presses his forehead to mine. “Lina, Lina.” His voice is dripping with desire, and our joint rampant breathing is the only sound in the still night air.
I peer into his eyes, and he cups my face. “Kissing you is every bit as amazing as I hoped it would be.” My cheeks flare up, and he chuckles. “Say something.”
“Um, wow?!” Not the most intelligent response, but his kisses have turned my brain to mush.
His smile turns hopeful. “Does that mean you don’t regret it?”
My voice is breathless when I speak. “I don’t regret it.” I shake my head. “I don’t regret it at all. In fact, I want to do it again.” This time I kiss him, and it’s softer and sweeter than our last kiss, but it still warms me on the inside.
He pulls away first again. “If we’re going to do this, I think we should take it a step at a time, to be sure we’re both in it for the right reasons.”
“What doesthismean to you?” I don’t want any crossed wires.
He kisses the tip of my nose. “I want you to be my girlfriend. Half the school thinks you already are anyway. What do you say?”
I don’t stop to think about it. I just want tofeel. To allow my emotions to decide without logic or concern or any other number of obstacles stopping me from taking a chance. Ayd is my best friend, and I trust him not to hurt me. I trust him with my life, and, right now, I want this with him. I like the way he makes me feel—safe, protected, loved, cared for. “I want that too.”
“Yeah?” His expression is hopeful again. “You’re sure you’re ready?”
I know what that’s code for—you’re sure you’re over him? “Yes, I’m ready. I want you as my boyfriend.” And it’s only half a lie. I don’t know if I’ll ever be over Devin, but I can’t spend the rest of my life pining for someone who doesn’t want me. While I still don’t understand it, Devin ishersnow. He’ll never be mine, and it’s time I faced up to that fact and moved on with my life.
Besides, I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know his own mind—who says one thing and does another, who hurts the people he professes to love.
I want to be with someone who sees me as their everything.
Someone who respects me and treats me right.
Mom has taught me that. My whole life she’s told me to never accept being treated any less than what I deserve. When she found herself trapped in an abusive marriage after a whirlwind romance at eighteen, she tried to make the best of it at first, but after I came along, and the abuse escalated, she found the strength to walk away, to refuse to accept that treatment for herself or her daughter. I know it wasn’t easy at first—she’s been honest about that—but she persevered, and I’m determined to prove I’m my mother’s daughter.
