Page 11 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
I snort so hard that I have to cover my nose. “How did you know?”
Her eyes peruse me, giving me a slow once-over before saying, “Solid guess. But I have to say, I have no use for any... shrinking, so unless you have anything else to offer, I think I should be on my way.”
Just to be playful, I stick my hands in my pockets and smirk at her. “I think that’s about it. Shrinkage.”
From the twinkle in her eyes, I can tell she’s smiling too. “Well, this has been educational, but I must be on my way.”
“So that’s a no on the sharing of the harpoon then?”
“How about this? If I bump into you again, then I’ll call it fate and consider your use of the harpoon.”
“What about the harmonica?”
Those makeup-free eyes smile up at me again. “Clearly the harmonica will be yours.”
I nod in approval. “Then I look forward to bumping into you again.”
“Only if you’re lucky.” And with that, she takes off.
Wow . . . I liked her . . . a lot.
Hopefully I bump into her again, catch her name... possibly her number.
Wouldn’t mind seeing what’s hiding behind that mask.
“There you go, ready for a new home.” I pat the top of the black van that I just strapped a tree to.
“Are you sure we don’t need netting?” the father of the family asks. “Every tree I’ve purchased at other farms was put in netting.”
Keeping a smile on my face, I say, “The netting is just a gimmick. Trust me, the way I strapped this tree down, it’s not going anywhere, and not a branch will be out of place. Not to mention netting doesn’t give the tree room to breathe and more than likely flattens the branches, tugging on the needles.” Also, the netting usually ends up in a landfill or in the ocean and rots away. I refuse to be the reason why a sea turtle loses a flapper.
Flapper?
Is that the right word?
Narrator: The correct term would be flipper, referring to the fore and hind limbs.
“God, you’re useful. Thank you.”
Narrator: Anytime. Now back to the story.
“Well, I’m holding you to that,” the father says, pointing at me.
Hands on my hips, I say, “Please do.” Then I pat the nimrod on the shoulder and head toward the tree shack to take a breather.
Kate is working the register, a job my mom usually works, so I take a seat behind her and grab my water bottle.
There’s a lull in customers, so I ask, “How’s it going?”
“Pretty good,” she says as she turns toward me and leans against the counter. Kate is a pretty girl, short hair where it’s buzzed on the sides but full up top. She curls her hair in just the right way where it falls over her forehead, sweeping to the side. I’ll be honest, I had quite the crush on her a few years back... until Cole informed me that she has a girlfriend. I was gutted and jealous all at the same time. “Been nonstop in here, but I’ve been able to handle it. There was only that one question I didn’t have an answer to, so I’m glad you had your walkie-talkie on so I could ask.”
I nod and set my water bottle down. “Yes, you can find any vendor information in the drawer.”
“I know that now,” she says.
“Who was looking for vendor information?” I ask. “Did they want to sell here?”
“They wanted a list of vendors. She said she could just spend her time walking around, writing down the names of the vendors, as she planned to explore anyway.”
