Page 10 of Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal
I can see the smile in her eyes, so I play along. “Ma’am, you bumped into me, and how dare you accuse me of such an egregious act?”
“No, you bumped into me. It is known that when taking a curve, you stick to your side of the ‘road,’” she says, using air quotes, and then looks down. “According to our positioning, you’re crossing lanes.”
I glance down as well and,huh, would you look at that.
“Well, you got me there.” I raise my palm. “Guilty as charged.”
She chuckles. “So hand it over.” She holds her glove-covered hand out.
“Hand what over?”
“Oh, you know, what you took.”
Pretty blue eyes.
Excellent repartee.
Consider me intrigued.
Hanging my head, I reach into my pocket and pull out nothing. “Fine, but I don’t see why you are in need of a harpoon. It’s Christmastime after all.”
Why a harpoon? First thing that came to mind, so let’s see where she goes with it.
She pretends to snag said harpoon and then, to my surprise, acts like she’s polishing it. “My harpoon is none of your business.”
Fuck, that’s cute.
I eye her suspiciously. “You must be visiting then, because they outlawed harpoons in Kringle about ten years ago.”
“Not visiting. New to town.” She sticks the fake harpoon in her belt loop. “And I got permission to wield one for purposes that cannot be spoken of. So best you keep to your own business, sir.”
“New to town, huh?” I ask, liking this woman already. “Care to share a name?”
Slowly, she looks me up and down, and then that smile reappears. If only she didn’t have that ridiculous ski mask on, then I could really see it. “Share my name with someone who tried to steal my harpoon?” She shakes her head. “Absolutely not.” She starts to walk by me, but I stop her at the shoulder and then reach into my back pocket.
I hold my hand out to her and say, “Don’t forget your harmonica either.”
Her eyes widen playfully, and she snatches air from my hand. She points at me and says, “I’m watching you, sir.”
Chuckling, I say, “Yeah, hopefully you don’t bump into me again.”
“Hopefully. I might have to put in a report to the police.”
“Nah, they like me too much to arrest me.”
“Ah, corruption in a small town. Looks like I’ll have to use my harpoon after all.”
I laugh. “A vigilante. Now that’s something I can get into.” I lean close. “Need a sidekick?”
“Perhaps.” She eyes me again. “What qualifications do you offer as a sidekick, because I’m only looking for the best? Can’t have you slowing me down.”
“Qualifications.” I tap my chin, trying to think of something good that I could bring to the table. Something unique. “Well, for one, I’m tall.” Not unique, but I’m still getting warmed up here.
“How is your height going to aid me in any way? If anything, it will hinder us because you will stand out.”
“You didn’t let me finish. I’m tall, but I have the ability to shrink.”
“Shrink where? In cold water?”
