Page 192 of The Path to Loving Him
Dad.
Am I her dad?
Christ . . . a lump in my throat forms as I attempt to answer this heart-wrenching question as best as I can.
“I’ll be anything you want me to be,” I say as I take her little hand in mine.
Her lips twist to the side as she thinks about it.
“But I’ll tell you this. It’s you and me, kid. I’m your main man, the one who will always protect you, always love you, always be there for you. I’ll be there for every great thing in your life and every bad thing. And along the way, your aunts and uncles will be there for you too. But this life, this house, it belongs to you and me.” I squeeze her hand. “Best friends, kiddo.”
She nods, the smallest of smiles passing over her lips. “Best friends.”
I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. “Even when you’re Godzilla and I’m Godzilla Plus, always and forever best friends.”
“I love you,” she says softly.
“I love you, too, MacKenzie.”
“You won’t leave me?”
I swallow the lump, trying to hold back the emotions that want to pour out.
“Not intentionally,” I answer because I can’t predict the future. “I’ll do everything in my power to always be with you. You’re my number one girl.”
“You’re my number one guy.”
“Even over Uncle Wyatt?”
She nods. “Yes, you’re . . . you’re like my dad, so of course over Uncle Wyatt.”
And there it is again, that word. A word I didn’t think I’d ever hear directed toward me, yet it’s been raised twice tonight.
Wanting her to feel comfortable with whatever she decides despite it making me feel weird, apprehensive, and maybe a bit uneasy, I say, “Yeah, Mac, I’m like your dad.”
And for the love of God, that smile that passes over her lips brings a goddamn tear to my eye as she loops her arms around my neck and pulls me into another hug.
“Good night,” she whispers. “Dad.”
My lip trembles.
My hand shakes.
And my eyes get misty as I say, “Night, kiddo.”
And then before she can see me with tears in my eyes, I move away from her bed and turn off her light.
“Good night, love you, see you in the morning, sweet dreams.”
“Good night, love you, see you in the morning, sweet dreams,” she says just before I shut the door.
And then I move down the stairs to the living room where I spot Gabby in the kitchen, grabbing us both a drink. When her eyes meet mine, she stops and says, “Is everything okay?”
I shake my head. “No.” And then I crumple to the couch.
She’s at my side in an instant. “What’s going on?”
Tears fall down my face as I lean back on the couch and stare up at the ceiling. Gabby’s hand falls to my chest.
