Page 191 of The Path to Loving Him
When Gabby pulls away, she says, “Have a good night, Godzilla. Until our next mission.”
Mac pats Gabby on the shoulder. “Until next time.”
I nod toward the stairs and say, “Get upstairs. I’m going to say bye to Gabby, and you better be in bed when I get to your room.”
She doesn’t move, and when I fake an attempt to get her, she screams and runs up the stairs, only tripping once.
Gabby laughs as I take her hand and move her toward the kitchen. I push her up against the counter and whisper, “Stay here. Let me say good night to her, and then I’ll be back down.”
“Why? Is it your turn to play now?” She wiggles her brows.
“Yeah, it is.” I tilt her chin up and capture her lips, feeling the kiss all the way down to my goddamn toes before pulling away.
I move toward the stairs and say, “Here I come. You better be in bed.”
I hear scrambling come from upstairs, making me laugh as I jog up the stairs and right to her room, where I see her perched under her covers with Chewy Charles on one side and Chewy Chondra on the other.
I take a seat on the side of her bed and push her hair out of her face. “Did you have fun tonight?”
She nods. “I like Gabby.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool, huh?”
“She is, but I like you too, Uncle Ryland.”
“I’m glad to hear it, kiddo.”
She glances to the side, and I can tell that something is on her mind. “What’s going on in your head?”
“I know you said that she’s not coming back, but . . . are you sure Mommy’s never coming back?”
Fuck.
The question that fucking plagues me. She’s only asked it a few times, but every time she does, it feels like a goddamn dagger right to the chest—her hopeful eyes are always dimmed with my answer.
I lean over her and press my hand to her face as I say, “Remember how we talked about Mommy always being with you in your heart?” Mac nods. “Well, she isn’t really gone. She’s just living with you in a different way.” I tap her heart. “Right here.”
“But I don’t see her there.”
“I know, kiddo.” My goddamn heart can’t take this. “But that’s why we have pictures of her, and we talk about her, so she’s still with us in a different way.”
“So . . . she really isn’t coming back?”
“No, MacKenzie. I’m really sorry.”
Her little eyes tear up, and my entire life shatters around me as I scoop her up into my arms, and I hug her, squeezing her tight.
“I’m so sorry, Mac. I know you miss her, and if I could, I’d do anything to bring her back, but I can’t.”
She cries softly onto my chest as I hold her tightly. Squeezing her. Letting her know that her mom might not be around, but I’m here. And I’ll be here for her as long as I can be, until my last breath.
I rub her back softly, feeling her relax into me. I pull away to look to see if she’s sleeping, and when I see that her eyes are shut, I slowly lower her back to her pillow and cover her with her blanket.
I’m about to stand when Mac says, “Uncle Ryland?”
“Yes?” I ask, wondering why she hasn’t been saying Ry Ry.
“Are you . . . are you my dad now?”
