Page 55 of How My Neighbour Stole Christmas
“That’s good.” I nod. “That’s very good.”
“You can thank my mom for that one. So, we have people buzzing about you around town, which is step number one. Step two, you have to continue showing yourself out in public and wishing people seasonal greetings, but I made you a list of different ways of saying it.”
He pulls a list out of his pocket and hands it to me.
I stare down and read each entry in my head.
I hope you have a delightful holiday season—yeah, that works.
Warm wishes to you and your family—that’s a good one.
Best wishes for a festive season—also another classic spin.
Sending holiday cheer to you and yours—a bit of a tongue-twister sentence for me.
May your holidays shine bright—not saying that.
Joyous Festivus…
I quirk my eyebrow and look up at Max. “Joyous Festivus?”
He smirks. “That was my favorite.”
“I’m not saying that.”
“I’m sure people would appreciate it if you did.”
“That’s great, but I’m not saying it. People will know I’m faking it.”
“You know…it’s okay for men to fake it every once in a while.” He nudges me with his elbow and waggles his brows.
I swat at him. “Enough with that shit.”
He chuckles. “Well, keep it in your back pocket if you ever need to gain a leg up. You can drop it like a holiday bomb. Joyous Festivus! People will fawn at your feet, and you might be crowned Christmas Kringle right there on the spot.”
I stare at my best friend. “You know, I think you’re getting way too into this.”
“I’m the proper amount of into this. Now stop distracting me—we have to talk about the Upcycle Christmas challenge.”
I lean back on the couch, knowing that even if I put up a fight, he’s not going to let me win, so I give in to this insanity. I will store away Joyous Festivus and only use it when absolutely necessary.
“Since we want to attack on all senses, I was thinking we act out a scene fromThe Grinch.”
I run my tongue over my teeth. “Let me guess, I’m the Grinch.”
“Unless you want to be Cindy-Lou Who. Up to you.” He grins.
“I think you know the answer to that.”
Chuckling, he continues, “Now, back to my research about Sherry. She’s a fan of dogs, one of her favorite movies isThe Grinch, and most importantly, she’s a secret fan of Thunder from Down Under.”
Silence falls between us as I contemplate whether or not I need a new best friend, because I can see exactly where this is going.
“No,” I say.
He removes tissue paper from his suitcase, revealing a set of lederhosen, the same style that the Grinch wore in the Jim Carrey version. “Oh yes,” Max says.
“No,” I repeat.
