Page 69 of Bridesmaid Undercover
“I don’t think he did that.”
“Oh, he did for sure. He said buzzing, and then with both hands, pointed right at his weiner.” I’m still laughing. “It took everything in me not to gag. It was so bad that I sent the MOH upstairs to check out a loft space, and that’s when I told him he was blowing it, and he needed to get his act together. You’ll never believe what he did then.”
Hardy folds his arms across his chest. “Let me guess, he tried to kiss you.”
“Eck, gross, no, thank God. He swayed one way, then the other, and I was about to ask him what was wrong, but before I could, he passed out, fell right into my chest with athunk. I couldn’t hold his body weight, so we flew through a bathroom wall, erupted a pipe and, while I scrambled to get him off me, the place started to flood. The maid of honor came back downstairsand found him with his face pressed against my breasts. She was so insulted that she took off. I called the ambulance to help me with the passed-out man, turned off the water, and then rode in the ambulance with him where we found out that his appendix burst. So yeah, what a day.”
He stares at me, a mix of humor and calculation crossing his features. “Yeah, that’s quite the day.”
“What about you?” I ask casually, picking up my piece of pizza.
“Not nearly as eventful. Just got some work done and then listened to a friend tell me the most insane lie I’ve ever heard.”
“Ugh, people, always trying to gain attention by lying.” I pat his hand. “Be happy you don’t have to worry about that with me.”
“I guess so.” He chuckles and then leans back in his chair. “You know, Professor, it’s shocking you’re single.”
“Oh?” I ask as I place the back of my hand under my chin. “After my story, do I seem like quite the catch?”
“You do,” he says, sounding more serious than I expected.
Trying not to get caught up in it, I say, “Well, keep that in mind while you’re trying to hook me up with someone that’s not a Tomothy and more of an Ezra.”
“I don’t know…after that story, I might have to get you back.”
“Vindictive behavior is very unbecoming, Hardy.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He leans his forearms on the table. “Seriously, though, why are you single?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I don’t understand. You’re clearly a good time, you’re beautiful, you’re so easy to talk to. To spend time with. You’re hardworking, driven…well, that seems like a catch to me. If Hudson wasn’t so caught up in his own world, I’d suggest he look this way, but I know that will only end up in disappointment.When his mind is set on something, he doesn’t let it go. So…why are you single?”
I’m sorry. I’m still trying to catch my breath after he called me beautiful.
“Uh…” I say, inwardly squealing, but trying to remain calm. “I don’t know. Maybe I look for the wrong kind of guys.”
Hardy being case in point.
“Well, I’m determined now to find someone worthy.”
“Determined, huh?” I ask. “And all it took was a lie about you having sloppy kisses. Wow, I should have said that months ago.”
He chuckles. “You can only learn from your mistakes, Everly, and move on from there.”
“Noted.”
Everly:I think I’m in love.
Ember:Dear God, Everly.
Everly:I know. I’m sorry. I really am, but let me just get this off my chest.
Ember:Fine…go…
Everly:He’s everything. Oh my God. He’s so funny and sweet and he understands my sense of humor, and even though he likes to dip his pineapple pizza in barbeque sauce, I can look past that because he has the best smile ever. And he got my car cleaned and it’s never looked better.
Ember:What the hell happened in the last few days?
